Saturday 11th February

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Saturday 11th February

Current Issue: 563
07 February 12 - 13 February 12

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» Swanning around: Postcard home

Alison Swann confesses that she is not a natural born traveller…

I’ve recently realised I’m not a very good traveller. After being trapped on a bus in the middle of the Atlas mountains for over three hours in the middle of a snowstorm, while the entire male population of a Berber village discussed with our driver, in highly animated and unintelligible Arabic, why we couldn’t continue our journey forward to the Sub-Sahara, I had a massive panic attack. I think it happened about the time I managed to translate the words ‘black’, ice’ and ‘everywhere’.
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» Swanning Around: Marrakech Express

In preparation for a holiday, Alison Swann loses her fake tan virginity

By the time you read this I will be in Marrakech, chasing a slice of winter sun and getting off on the flood of happy hormones that will come in its wake. It’s unlikely to be skin blisteringly hot. This is a good thing; I have skin that was clearly bred from ancestors with a distant relation to the big orange thing in the sky. And I am also now at an age where I give a damn about the state of my skin and am keen not to have face that looks like a collapsed balloon in years to come. (I would have said raisin, but that is ridiculous, as I have about as much chance of developing a ‘deep’ tan as I have of competing in the next Olympics.)
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» Swanning Around

Alison Swann is wondering if her friends are all going to go forth and multiply

I got a text from my friend Ellie over Christmas: Happy Christmas Alison! We’re all here getting merry! Nothing weird about that except, I used to be her nanny and I still have to remind myself that it is fine for her to drink and be, er… a grown-up. She is now romping through university in Bristol, taller than me, and going to Washington for political forays with her fellow students – she always was a smart kid.
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» Swanning around

Alison Swann is wanting to swap places with the polar bears: they’d like the cold

I have just spent five days in Munich, sightseeing in temperatures that would have made a polar bear feel quite at home. I am not a polar bear, and the irony of said bears’ habitat disappearing on a daily basis as our world becomes ever more frostbitten and cold has not been lost on me.
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Latest TV

» Brighton Lights 31

Our new programme for thelatest.tv sees Juice FM presenter Guy Lloyd investigate all manner of things. He starts off with chart-topping band The Hoosiers who were mega-successful a couple of years ago, were dropped by their major label and have become fashionably independent. Their chart-topping album cost £1 million to record, their new album £100 and we reckon it's just as good. We have exclusive footage of this new record. Guy does crazy-golfing with them, checks out their sound-check and witnesses the fans' adoration of the band at Audio in Brighton. In future shows Guy will be doing waxing, Dot Cotton, air guitar and needs your suggestions for more crazy things (or people) to do. Send to bill@thelatest.co.uk

» Artists Open Houses

AOH Special: It’s Festival time in Brighton & Hove, which means the Artists Open Houses have opened their doors for another year! Maps of all the trails can be picked up across the city. We love nothing better than browsing and buying arts and crafts, and there is so much going on throughout May that we’ve made it easier by bringing the Artists Open Houses to you! We have 11 special programmes, featuring artists in their own houses. So here’s your chance to go ‘through the keyhole’ so to speak as we visit the artists in their own environment.

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