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Dani muses on pulling a sickie after pulling the night before

When a friend of mine was 18 he met a beautiful girl and fell in love.

On their third date (she had obviously read that book of those bizarre dating rules), they did the deed! Fumbling and bumbling along for the night, they then settled down to sleep, happy with the consequences of one too many drinks, my friend blissful with a gorgeous girl to lay his head beside, drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

“Either the girl’s hinges were slightly loose or he must have really impressed her the night before”

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Dani is giving up smoking and not having any fun whatsoever in doing so

This week I set myself the hardest challenge I can think of – I have given up smoking. It has not been easy to say the least.

In seven days I have had one cigarette, but I have also had, four fried egg sandwiches, two jacket potatoes, three bags of crisps, two bags of lollipops, two rather large bars of chocolate, one packet of cookies, four fingernails, seven nicotine patches, two crushed ice smoothies, no cups of tea, three packets of Love Hearts, two packets of Refreshers and one packet of Chewits (because Chewits do it), six cheese straws, two chocolate twists, one pizza and two packets of chewing gum. And in case of any confusion this is on top of my regular diet! So my lungs may be clean but it’s clear that the obesity and tooth decay will get to me eventually. I may live ten years longer but I will do so as some perpetually single toothless blob! Fantastic.

“I may live ten years longer but I will do so as some perpetually single toothless blob”

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Dani and her iPod invite you to take a musical trip around her world

Writing this column is hard at the best of times. Especially now, after so many years.

So I thought, as a little rest for me and a little treat for you I would let my favourite music do the talking. I go everywhere with my iPod. I have theme music. Some songs I play to perk me up, some to settle me down. For every important part of my life there is a song. So below is a week in my life, depicted by my favourite words said by others and timed, rather nicely, to music. Not all of it will make sense (but let’s face it, when does it ever!) I hadn’t realised what a task I had set myself when I decided to do this. More to the point, this is what happens in my head every morning on my way to work.

“Some songs I play to perk me up, some to settle me down, for every important part of my life there is a song”

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Dani refuses to follow the mob and believe that the uber-famous amongst us can do no wrong

I never fully understood why everyone hated Heather Mills.

The only explanation anyone gave was that Paul McCartney was in The Beatles. Using that as an excuse for hating someone is ridiculous.

“No matter what someone does for a living, it doesn’t make them incapable of being mean”

I hadn’t really formed an opinion on the whole thing until I was asked what my view was.

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