» Columnist Idol!
L7 is searching for a new local voice – and it’s providing a fascinating opportunity to find out what’s on your minds. Over the last two months we have been printing some of the submissions. First out of the post bag this week… Sarah Charsley, 34, Brighton
Though retired from the club scene for several years, it still came as a shock last weekend when I was refused entry to a Brighton nightclub for the seemingly innocuous action of ‘swaying’.
I started clubbing when I was 16, and over the years witnessed people being turned away from various establishments for the following reasons: looking underage; inappropriate dress; verbal abuse to bouncer; physical abuse to bouncer; possession of drugs; possession of sharp objects. But since when, I ask, was swaying considered a public offence? Did it sneak its way from Whitehall on the b-side of the smoking ban? Do signs in clubs now read: ‘No illicit substances, smoking or swaying on the premises’?
In their Nanny State bid to make our lives 100 per cent safe, did the legislators decide that swaying in nightclubs needed to be firmly stamped out before people started swaying into each other, causing no end of personal and economic damage? I can see the headlines: “Girl of 14 high on Ketamine swayed into by 30-something female in Brighton nightclub.” Or “London clubber sues fellow clubber for accidentally swaying into and damaging his cocaine-inflated ego”.
I like to think that the bouncer had my wellbeing at heart, that he thought, if I was swaying before I went in, then I might end up needing to be fireman’s-lifted out. Whatever his reasons, that’s the last time I try to get into a club after one too many glasses of Prosecco. Being told ‘You’re not coming in’ is both humiliating and incensing, especially when everyone else in the queue looks either underage, under-dressed or under the influence of more than just alcohol.
If I can impart any wisdom from this experience it is that, when refused entry into a club, the worst possible thing you can do is try to change the bouncer’s mind. This will never ever happen and will only succeed in further aggravating him (or her) so that he threatens to make a call on his radio that will have you instantly banned from over 100 licensed establishments in the area.
Fortunately, it didn’t get to this stage and after some unsuccessful negotiating, followed by no holds barred begging, I quietly swayed away into the night with my tail between my skinny jeans.
February 1st, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Sharp and smart. And, crucially, clearly a voice that can talk about many and varied topics and situation, which is essential. More, please.