» Dani on pulling
Dani muses on pulling a sickie after pulling the night before
When a friend of mine was 18 he met a beautiful girl and fell in love.
On their third date (she had obviously read that book of those bizarre dating rules), they did the deed! Fumbling and bumbling along for the night, they then settled down to sleep, happy with the consequences of one too many drinks, my friend blissful with a gorgeous girl to lay his head beside, drifting off into a peaceful sleep.
“Either the girl’s hinges were slightly loose or he must have really impressed her the night before”
Woken the next morning by the ever intrusive alarm clock, the girl rolled over and suggested she called into work sick so they could spend the rest of the day trying to recreate the joys of the night before. He, not to anyone’s surprise, thought that was a grand idea. She slid out of bed while he stretched, satisfied with his life at that moment, and let out a little sigh.
Rolling on to his side, he peered through the crack in the door and could see his barely dressed damsel clutching the phone and dialling the number. She brushes her hand through her hair and shifts her weight from one foot to the other, scratching the back of one calf with the toes of the other foot.
“Oh hi”, she says, stretching her acting ability to its limits while putting on a slightly croaky voice. “I can’t make it in today.” There is a pause while the voice on the other end asks for her reason. My friend – the boy in the bed – lays there and a little smile appears on his face.
“Well it’s because my parents have both just died in a horrible car crash and I’ll need a couple of days off!”
The boy didn’t move; he had a lot to assess. There were only two possibilities. Either the girl’s hinges were ever so slightly loose or he must have really impressed her the night before. He settled on the latter. She climbed back into bed and her three days of mourning began.
Needless to say, they are not happily married now. I doubt it lasted much more than a couple of weeks.
So in honour of the Sex and the City movie (because, irritatingly, people suggest I look slightly like a horse. Oops, slip of the tongue – I mean Sarah Jessica Parker), I got to thinking (because that’s what she says when writing her column): just how far can you take the ‘calling in sick’ thing? And what would the main reason be? Another friend of mine was supposed to be teaching a course but was stood up by her pupil; he called in saying he didn’t have a jacket and so couldn’t come. She stared out of the window at the blazing sunshine and thought: “What the f***?” She then, in turn, decided it would be handy if her toilet overflowed because she just couldn’t be arsed to get out of bed!
What was your best excuse? Mine was simply because I was too tired. Honesty was key in that excuse, and the stern look from the boss catching me out and about was frightening and the sense of naughtiness made the day even more fun!
