» Dani’s Diary
Dani questions why she should pay for single mothers who won’t work
Like I have said before, I am not a political-type. In general, I don’t avidly watch the news, mainly because it is far too depressing, however recently I have been catching a lot of it and one story in particular made me chuckle – ever so slightly.
The government are threatening to stop the benefits of single stay at home mums when their children reach the age of 12.
The only way to continue receiving benefits is to be actively looking for work or continue to have children. I am not sure what I feel about the subject in general. But I was completely astounded by the response from a single mother who had been brought into the GMTV studio to be interviewed, along with her daughter, about the fact that she may have to look for work.
“Does it really make a difference for the mother to be sitting at home while the kids are at school?”
The mother was arguing it was a bad idea to send single mums to work and these were the reasons why: higher teenage pregnancy rate; more thugs would be out on the street; increased truancy from schools; anti-social behaviour and vandalism.
She sat there reeling off this list of disastrous things that would happen if all single parents were forced back to work while her daughter sat there listening. Had that been my mum I would have been offended she was assuming I would get up no good if she worked part-time, personally I think it was all an excuse not to get off her arse.
If she assumes her child will end up partaking in the activities listed above if she went to work then she needs to have a good look at her parenting skills, not the hours she spends at home watching Loose Women while her daughter is at school (I mean come on, does it really make a difference for the mother to be sitting at home while the kids are at school?)
I could have seen a more impressive argument had the child been home-schooled by the mother or if the child had a disability. But if you have a child who is in full-time education and no younger children requiring 24-hour surveillance, what is it you do that stops you being available for work between the hours of 9am and 3pm?
Many years ago women stayed at home and looked after the kids while the husband went out to work. If there was no husband the woman found some way to pay her own way (I am not suggesting anyone take up any of the Victorian quick fixes for gaining a bit extra cash). It can be done, my nan was a single mum for a period of time, my auntie raised four kids as a single parent and my mum raised me and my sister as a single mother. It can be done, there is no excuse. I begrudge paying my taxes to give some woman the opportunity to ensure her house is spick and span for when her (of her own admission) ungrateful children get home.
I completely understand that at the moment finding a job is incredibly hard, but it won’t always be and then what will your excuse be?
December 17th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Dear Dani,
I read with interest your comments about single parents returning to work and as a single Mother of an eleven year old I feel the need to reply.
My daughter started secondary school in September of this year. So far, the school has closed for three half days at a few days notice to parents.A further two inset days were scheduled alongside one week for half term. The Christmas holidays are two weeks long (school holidays are thirteen weeks per year),Oh and you know that chesty cold that was doing the rounds?…..she had it and needed a further three days off sick!
Perhaps your Aunt or your Mother were fortunate enough to have extended family to call upon in times of chickenpox, diarrhea or school closures. Perhaps as twelve year olds you and your sister didn’t hanker to go to the pier or Churchill Square or all the places children really should be supervised until they are mature enough to be on their own.
So come on Dani, what should I do? Give her a key and hope she will be safe? Tell her to be a good girl and read Jane Austen until Mummy gets home? Or, explain that six weeks in the summer, two weeks at Easter, two weeks at Christmas and a week every half term will fly by at a childminders house when she’s helping to look after all the younger ones?
At the work focused interview I attended recently, I was told how, if I went back to work, I would be so much better off, have so much more self esteem, have more of a social life and generally be a much more worthwhile Human Being. Unfortunately, I wasn’t told how to be at work AND be the kind of parent every child, in my opinion, needs……Just, there!
December 17th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Dear Dani,
I read your latest column with great interest. Have you ever thought of applying for a job at The Daily Mail? They hold single mothers in similar esteem, and they’re equally good at demonising all of them with a single example.
Yours,
Paul
January 4th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
People think they have a right to have children.
They also have a duty to provide for them !
We need a more American attiude in this country.
As for Dani,she is a hot babe in real life,and the panic stuff is all made up.