» Swanning Around: Getting physical
Alison Swann has a hot date with gym and finds she needs plenty of time to recover
I am not a natural inhabitant of the gym. Well who is? It is not natural to stand around in Lycra pulling heavy things or running on a road to nowhere. But then nor is air travel and lots of people seem perfectly happy to do that.
So, seeing as my most over-developed muscle – my tongue – got me into this situation, I summoned up the courage to face the fact that I was going to spend one whole hour with a personal trainer. It’s all part of my preparation for the 54 miles of the London to Brighton cycle ride.
Now I am not entirely unfamiliar with the land of gym. I have even gone there voluntarily in the past and waved my arms around like I knew what I was doing. I didn’t, and soon got bored and went for a float in the pool.
I want the results, which are so obviously there from exercise, but largely due to my lack of aptitude and commitment, I ain’t ever got very far with the whole game plan. Much like how I loved watching the Kids from Fame when I was a kid, but I never had the slightest inclination to make the sort of effort required to dance like they did. Well I wouldn’t have minded, but how? I was happy with my Fame sticker album and that took more than enough effort.
“I waved my arms around like I knew what I was doing. I didn’t, and soon got bored and went for a float in the pool”
So, faced with a body that goes into a seizure at the prospect of getting upright at the appropriate time to get myself to work in the morning, how much did it hurt?
A lot. There’s no sweetening the pill. Anyone who says “it wasn’t really that bad“ is masochistic or lying. It’s going to hurt because it does when you first do exercise properly with a body that is more familiar with the strain of opening a bottle of Pinot Grigio than climbing an imaginary mountain.
My trainer, Leanne, down at the newly opened Fitness First, was brilliant. Firm, fair and flippin’ fit. There were times when I suggested that I should be allowed to stop; Leanne looked at me, smiling sweetly but with eyes that said ‘no‘. And she was right, I could go further than I thought.
Blimey, so all these years I have just been plain lazy, well kind of, but I might just manage to pull my finger out this time.
The next day I ached so much I couldn’t get out of the bath. No really, the boy had to help me out. Oh, I can’t wait for my next session.
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