Vanessa Austin Locke: End Of
A few months ago I got a friend request on Facebook from Julie Burchill. Yes, the Julie Burchill. I had grown up with her writing, forever swinging between wanting to nut her and wanting be more like her. Just a few months before, during a heated pub debate, I’d surprised myself by defending her style fiercely, arguing that she was a post-modern tigress and her displays of fearlessness were, quite simply, nails. Then, just like that, she swanned into my actual real 2D life.
What I’d realised I admired about her in the pub that night was her ability to channel her ferocity into her words, and promote change and awareness without losing her sense of humour. It didn’t even matter if I agreed with her or not, the total absence of apathy combined with a good sense of irreverent fun made my heart sing. So when she told me that she was having a disco to fight domestic violence I did a little involuntary twerk of glee.
On 29 April 2014 Julie is calling time on domestic violence and raising money for Sussex-based charity RISE, which has had its funding cut. She’ll be doing this with the help of some of the hottest tickets in journalism, literature, film and TV, including Her Royal Womanness Caitlin Moran. Told you the ticket was hot!
Both Julie and I have joined the ranks of women who have experienced domestic abuse. And ranks we are; lined up and ready to fight. But you’d be amazed at how uncomfortable the subject still makes people. Even some of my closest friends turned their backs on me when I went to them for help – strong, modern women – and they despised me for being what they saw as ‘weak’.
“Julie Burchill is calling time on domestic violence”
But domestic violence is not just a ‘woman’s issue’. It belongs to all of us. We are all responsible for the sickness and we can all bring about the cure. Men – your women need you. Your daughters need to be told they are strong and clever from the cradle, not just pretty. Your mothers and grandmothers need balm for old wounds. Your sisters need your protection right now – even the ones who seem so confident and strong. If you are a violent man, admit it to someone. Get help. Become the man a woman would be proud of. And women – stand up for your sisters when they can’t, educate yourselves about the effects of abuse so that when it’s standing before you in all its ugliness (and it is ugly), you are able to recognise it.
Come and celebrate the end of domestic violence with us on 29 April at The Hove Centre, when we’ll be hearing from all kinds of talented women. Buy your ticket online at www.endof.org.uk and hook up with the Facebook and Twitter pages at END of Domestic Violence.
So, in the words of Burchill, “Let’s have a big night out, raise some money, and tackle this issue head on. We’re not putting up with this any more. End of.”
