Louis Michael: How can we use our anger?
We live in a world of angry people, and with good reason: there’s a lot to be angry about. But is anger helpful, and is it even necessary?
When I was younger I thought that anger was helpful. I reasoned that it was an emotion that played its designed part like any other. I assumed that it was there to propel you into action by burning away fear and inertia. But the simple and well known (and my personal favourite) adage ‘holding onto anger is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die’ changed my mind. The logic of the saying argues that anger is not a source of motivation, but rather toxification. Though that might seem obvious to some, it was a revelation for my child mind.
As I pondered this new way of thinking I became increasingly repelled by the thought of anger. But as much as I tried to avoid it I couldn’t keep the lid on the pot when whatever triviality caused me to bubble over. I may have been poisoning myself before, but now I was doing it knowingly, and that was somehow even worse.
So I came back to my previous assumption that anger had to have its intended function. Following the trail of triggers I deduced that anger came from passion, whether it’s being passionately against someone coming to dinner, or passionate about which religions, sexualities, genders and races deserve what kind of treatment. Regardless, passion can only take root and grow within issues you care about. So if you care about something, rage is never the answer.
Uncontrolled passion becomes an inferno
Passion is likened to fire because the two burn in the same way. Controlled, passion provides a warmth of contentment within us, fosters the life of creativity, and generates a light within us that we can then share with the world. Eventually I realised that anger was the product of losing control of this passion. Uncontrolled passion becomes an inferno, an anger that relentlessly consumes us and overrides our other faculties. My more recent revelation is that this loss of control, this burst of anger, is just a knee-jerk reaction to being hurt. Under every layer of rage is a root of pain. Anger is the energy of our passion twisted into a fiery wall to protect our tenderer spots. It is an instinctive defence mechanism.
If we can learn to control this reaction we can stop that wall from going up. If we can stop hiding behind anger we can expose our hurts and pains, and only then can we begin to heal ourselves, and each other.
