Chez Kay
Andrew Kay asks why the need for meeters and greeters?
As roving ‘Jack of’ for Latest Homes my travels take me pretty far and wide. I spend a pleasant amount of time in restaurants, bars, hotels and clubs and after 14 years of reporting on the same I feel I have perhaps earned the right to pass comment with impunity.
Last weekend I made my third trip to Glyndebourne Touring Opera this year. I loved all three and on the third visit we decided that, having arrived early, we would go to a restaurant there for tea and cake. We walked up to the entrance and there was a sign asking us to wait to be seated. After a couple of minutes a charming dinner-suited gent came across and asked us what we would like. “Tea and cake,” we cried. “Please find yourself a table gentlemen,” was the reply.
“‘Tea and cake’ we cried. ‘Please find yourself a table gentlemen,’ was the reply”
Now why the catering firm in charge require a Tuxedo-ed man to tell us to do what we could quite clearly do without his kind instruction is beyond me. It was also remarkable that we had to ask three times for some milk to go with our beverages. When milk did come it came three times. There seemed to be rather a lot of chiefs and too few injuns.
A few days later I happened to be in London and realised that if we did not eat there It would be rather too late to eat when we got back to Brighton. We dived into Chez Gerrard at Victoria where once more we were met by a bevvy of serious looking meeters and greeters. This time an utterly charmless guy in a tired suit asked us what we wanted. “ We would like to eat,” we cried. “One moment sirs, I will see what I can do.”
The place was half empty with immaculate tables laid with linen and the like. He eventually returned and led us to a distant corner where a bare table was surrounded by two chairs and a small sofa. Mr L, with whom I was dining, took a seat and I went for the sofa. I lowered myself gingerly down and, as I expected, it was ridiculously low, even for a man of my height. We stood up and went back to the front. “Can we please have a proper table at which dining will be possible?”
A second and far nicer lady took us through to a cramped table in a busy corner where we had trouble getting in without removing the napery from the adjacent tables. From there on the service was better and the food not bad either.
A week earlier I went to Fortnum and Mason for tea, oysters and champagne actually, all very good. There a maitre d’ made sure that we had the best table possible, the best service and a throughly good time. I tipped handsomely. It’s easy to see why they boast so many royal warrants. Fortnums is a pearl and if it’s good enough for that queen then it’s certainly good enough for this one.
