Distracted Dad
Richard Hearn finds a different kind of paradise
Last Saturday, we went to Paradise Park. This is not to be confused with paradise. To be honest, it’s not exactly a park either. Paradise Park, near Newhaven, is a garden centre, mixed with a dinosaur museum, mixed with a children’s play area, plus there‘s crazy golf, oh and a little train too. And I’ve missed out loads.
Being Easter, there was a bunny hunt; I think you had to find 12 and write down their names. The Boy decided he didn’t want to take part. I’m not sure whether I’m bothered by The Boy’s stubborn refusal, or admire his single-mindedness in the face of a seasonal gimmick. Anyway, it did mean we were soon met by the disturbing sight of a cuddly toy bunny (named ‘Louis’) locked
in a T-Rex’s jaws. Later, I spotted another (“Emma”) clasped in the arms of a deep sea diver, and a third (“Nathan”) tied to a post on an island in the middle of a lake. Until now I’d thought the vibe of these things was supposed to be bunnies glimpsed in spring as they shyly go about their business. This was
more akin to witnessing a hostage situation.
“Head the wrong way and they sit silently while you pass them only to roar when your back is turned. Accidentally thrilling”
As a columnist, I should be putting across my strong opinion, but I really don’t know what to make of this place. All I know is it’s the sort of thing I’m drawn to.
It lacks a professional gloss, it retains the feverish enthusiasm of the amateur, you can ‘see their working’, and I kind of quite like that.
The first section leads you round blacked-out corridors, full of fossils, geology displays, plus a shark’s jaws, those dinosaurs and that deep sea diver already mentioned. Later there’s cavemen, a painting of Charles Darwin and some ropes.
Outside you’ll find cacti, crazy golf, models of Sussex buildings through the ages, and there’s also a play area, a load of arcade machines, oh and yes, that train. Plus more dinosaurs. This section has a designated entrance and exit which I assumed must be to do with crowd control, so when we went the wrong way I thought it wouldn’t be important. Thing is, the dinosaur noises are activated by motion sensors. Head the wrong way and they sit silently while you pass them only to roar when your back is turned. Accidentally thrilling.
So why am I letting you know about this place? Maybe, I’d simply like to know what others think. Yes, it does seem overpriced, but if you’re looking for a dinosaur and geology museum, love crazy golf but don’t want to miss out on seeing scale models of Sussex buildings though the ages and, most importantly, you need to buy someone a plant, it’s the best chance locally of ticking all those boxes.
