Kay Town
Andrew Kay gets propositioned and papped on the pier
Ah the strange joys of celebrity, even if it is ‘Z’ list. Yes, that dodgy looking bloke on the cover of You Got Papped magazine is me. I know, leering at scantily clad young ladies and eating chips, it hardly seems in character – does it?
Strangely, a few friends who spotted it, seemed to think that I had indeed been ‘papped‘. Caught in a clandestine tryst with a bag of chips and a burlesque artiste. Yes, the lovely Cherry Shakewell just happened to lurking on the pier in full stage gear and make-up. Of course not! We were, in fact, both attending the launch of this year’s fringe festival. I was particularly amused that this year’s Fringe programme will be listed weekly in a local small-ad and classified journal. How useful, I can search for a second-hand chest freezer; a bored housewife in Hangleton who seeks ‘no strings’ fun; and the lesbian Swahili production of Hamlet – all at the same time.
I had not been at the launch long enough to drain a glass before the editor of You Got Papped had introduced himself and asked if I would be happy to do the pic. Well shy and retiring I am not, so off I trolled with him to meet Cherry. What a lovely girl, and what a fab costume. They don’t make it in my size so I was unable to try it on.
The shoot drew quite a crowd and as the temperature dropped and daylight faded the photographer finally declared that she had ‘it‘ and we were allowed back in for a proper drink and some hot chips, without ketchup.
“Oh yes, she is an exotic dancer – but it’s all very artistic”
I rather liked Cherry, but I am confused by this burlesque thing. You see, for all its artistry and the gloss of heritage varnish that has been liberally applied in the last few years, all I see is stripping. I know it’s artistic, but wasn’t that how the word fell into misuse, when applied to sanitise dubious artistic pursuits: ‘‘Oh yes, she is an exotic dancer – but it’s all very artistic’’ and ‘‘Yes, he takes nudes, but they’re all very artistic.’’
I have nothing against strippers, of either gender, but I do think that in this post-feminist era we should all be able to say: ‘‘Hands up and pants down, I am a stripper,” although I suspect that there will be little chance of an Arts Council Grant, well certainly not for me.
