Monday 22nd March

The best free weekly property & lifestyle magazine in Sussex

Issue: 466
16 March 10 - 22 March 10

Latest Homes issue 466 cover

» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn eats his way around Cornwall

We continue in Cornwall. I’d like to tell the story of the rest of the week through the medium of food, as we ricochet around the county to the rhythm of mealtimes. Day three and Youngest™ shows astonishment when someone clears our table. It hadn’t happened before. (To be honest, Youngest™ looks astonished at pretty much everything – see Latest Homes issue 655). This event occurs in the gloriously-named Pasty Presto chain. We might prefer an independent shop, but by wiping some formica and smiling, it is the best so far. Read the rest of this article »

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» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn checks out the biomes in Cornwall

It takes 27 Charlie And Lola’s to get to Cornwall. I know this, not because we’ve got some portable DVD player, but because it’s how The Boy measures time, a modern variant on ‘Are we there yet?’ Read the rest of this article »

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» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn on ‘every day’ astonishments

Astonishment is our five-month-old’s default expression. He’s a master at it. If RADA ever produce a brochure illustrating key expressions for their acting students, his would be the face you’d see. Two wide round eyes and perfectly round open mouth. (My own default expression would be ‘frowning in concentration’.) Read the rest of this article »

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» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn is introduced to the Boy’s new buddy

At breakfast, The Boy announces: “I like old-fashioned toys.” He eats a spoonful of Cheerios, adding: “James also likes old-fashioned toys.” I hadn’t heard him mention James before. “Is he in your class?” I ask, but we get interrupted, and I don’t hear the answer. Read the rest of this article »

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» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn finds recycled things are precious

You normally have to turn this magazine upside down and back to front to get exhibition news, but on Saturday me and The Boy went to Hove Museum And Art Gallery and loved it, so this week you get all needs catered for, right here, right now.
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» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn thinks about what’s important

This week, I’m having to do my tax return. I’ve obviously been looking for distractions, and so I’ve come up with a revolutionary word-scale that will change the world. This ‘word-ometer’ rates words according to how important they are in a child’s life compared to an adult’s. By ‘child’ I’m referring to a five year old, as I haven’t got time/can’t be bothered to do further research. For ‘adult’ read pre-parent, as being in the same room as your child leads to being influenced by their bad habits, or ‘passive Lego syndrome’.
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» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn has a fail-safe shopping plan

This week, let’s start with a puzzle. Imagine you’re a farmer, and you need to get home, which is across a pond. Stay with me on this. You also need to take with you a fox, a goose and a bag of beans. Your boat only has room for you and one other thing. Problem is if you leave the fox alone with the goose, or the goose alone with the bag of beans, then the former’s going to eat the latter. How do you achieve your goal?
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» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn finds slapstick comedy in the snow

In the recent snow, everyone seemed to lose their sense of humour, me included. Perhaps it’s normally over so quickly that the novelty doesn’t have time to wear off. Rather than leave the audience wanting more, this year the snow outstayed its welcome.
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» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn has a genius idea for a new app

“Here”, they say. “You’ll like this.” (The emphasis always on the ‘you’ like an accusation. You did it. It’s your fault. I feel just as tarnished.) Friends, family, work colleagues, everyone around me seems to have an iPhone, and they all seem evangelical about it, keen to show you some ‘funny’ or ‘impressive’ app. I’m half-expecting the milkman to ring our doorbell at 5am and, as I answer bleary-eyed, say, “Here. You’ll like this. Tip it up, see that? It looks like milk coming out a bottle. How it knows, I don’t know…”
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» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn takes an ill-fated trip to the park

Before Christmas – when the snow had just started to melt – me and The Boy go to Hove Park. “If I stop,” he tells me, “it’s for one of two reasons, OK? I’m tired or I want to put my gloves on.” Along the Old Shoreham Road we step over a Shreddies box, flattened and preserved in a thin sheet of ice. “They should have put that in the recycling or the bin,” he tells me.
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