Thursday 2nd September

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Issue: 490
31 August 10 - 06 September 10

Latest Homes issue 490 cover

» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn’s glass isn’t half full

I’ve spent a lot of parenthood swaying. No, not because of wine, well, not always, more that movement in all its forms is often used to settle a child. Static you don’t stand a chance. The fact there’s a nursery rhyme called ‘Rock-A-Bye, Baby’ is also a clue. (Let’s leave aside the edgy nervousness wondering whether the bough will break.) Read the rest of this article »

» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn wonders if Youngest is a Russian spy

I can now announce that Youngest™ has said his first word. It’s “Nyet.” I didn’t know he was Russian. This is a surprise. I’m not Russian, my wife’s not Russian. My mum’s done quite a lot of work on our family tree, and there’s not many Russians sitting on nearby branches. So, as I say, this is a surprise. Read the rest of this article »

» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn on his boys’ artistic differences

OK, so the rivalry has started, and – typical – it’s an artistic one. Youngest™ and The Boy are following in the footsteps of the Venetians and the Florentines; the Impressionists against the Salon; Caravaggio against… pretty much anyone. A new chapter in the History of Art is being written.
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» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn has a perfect day – sand, flaws and all

Recently, I split this column into the negatives and positives of fatherhood. I found this strange to write, because the two get so mixed up, shunted together like two ill-fitting carriages. (Imagine the one you visit Santa on, if, like us, you see him at a railway, next to the one from Murder On The Orient Express where they found the body.) Read the rest of this article »

» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn on the magical detail of parenthood

Last week, inspired by a friend about to become a dad, I suggested a few ways in which my life changed since becoming a parent. I ended up covering the more negative aspects, so this week, as promised, here are some positives. Read the rest of this article »

» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn on the sleepless ride of parenthood

A friend’s about to become a father so I decided, not to offer advice as such, but sum up a few ways my life changed when I became a parent. Some negative things; some positive things… Read the rest of this article »

» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn on the World Cup in Hove, 2010

I’m writing this column on day four of the World Cup: Italy have just drawn with Paraguay. By the time you read this England will no doubt be in the semi-final against Uruguay/have gone out in Round 2 to Serbia/long since exited and the nation’s switched allegiance to Mexico (*delete as applicable). Read the rest of this article »

» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn tidies up some annoying toys

I’m not sure how successful we’ve been in getting The Boy to tidy up. Actually, that sentence isn’t strictly accurate. I know exactly how successful we’ve been. We’ve been ‘Un.’ Couple this with his love of construction-type toys – Lego, K-Nex – and of ‘making’, and basically you’ve got a profusion of ‘bits.’ By the end of the day, even if you’ve started off OK, it’s always carnage on the carpet. He does make some effort, sometimes, out of fear we’re going to break up some valued creation, but this is the exception to the rule. Read the rest of this article »

» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn on Youngest’s edible explorations

Youngest™ has his first toothbrush. This is well named in the singular, as he just has the one tooth. For all the rest of us, it should be ‘teethbrush’. Read the rest of this article »

» Distracted Dad

Richard Hearn and the Oscar-worthy expression…

“He looks surprised!” So many people comment on Youngest’s™ default expression. He constantly looks surprised: wide-open round eyes and eyebrows raised. A lot of people think it’s to do with something he’s seen, something that’s just happened. If so, it’s just one damn surprising thing after another.
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