Latest Homes magazine

Richard Hearn dresses for the cold – farmer style

At the time of writing, we’ve just had a bout of snow. On the Tuesday I’m up in the night, and by 2am the snow had silently arrived, laid over roads and cars and grass like protective sheeting, anticipating decoration. Read the rest of this article »

Richard Hearn is intrigued by his son’s First Addiction and which career path it may take him on

I thought kids were supposed to like soft toys. Not Youngest™. Since he’s been able to hold anything, he’s always gone for small hard objects. They’re something of an obsession. His favourite are his ‘little men.’ Read the rest of this article »

Richard Hearn decides to lock out grumpiness

I’ve decided to dispense with grumpiness. However, I thought I’d spend this column in a final splurge of grumpiness, in the same way Frank Sinatra always used to go on tour to announce his retirement. Read the rest of this article »

Richard Hearn gets his pets to do the hard work

I’ve been taking a lot of drugs recently. All types, I’ve not been too fussy; I‘ve really put some stuff away these last few weeks. Before you think I’ve deviated too far from my usual family-friendly topics, it’s simply that I’ve been ill.

My friend calls it ‘Get Mum’, as in ‘I’ve been feeling a bit Get Mum’. This originates from his own dad whispering out from behind a closed door to ‘Get Mum’ when he had what presumably turned out to be man flu.

Maybe that’s what I’ve had but it’s lasted and developed into what I call an irritating cough. Irritating to me and irritating to others. I probably don’t help things by my own actions: I plod on regardless, feeling sorry for myself, and still not really getting enough Vitamin C. (Fine on vegetables, but fruit? Must try harder.)
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Richard Hearn compares himself to krill

“We’ve only been here two minutes,” says The Boy, “and I already know it’s going to be great!” We are in a large toilet, changing Youngest™. No, The Boy is not being sarcastic, this toilet is the first thing we’ve headed to after being directed through a side entrance of the Natural History Museum. He’s seen one exhibit – a pterosaur – and he’s very, very excited about it.

We’ve often talked about coming to the Natural History Museum but it’s kept getting postponed. In this column, blue whales and dinosaurs get a lot of mentions, anyone who knows what his interests are say he should come, so finally, finally we are here.
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Richard Hearn imagines a future political battle

This week I thought I’d try my hand at sci-fi. But before you get excited and think I’ll be bringing to life jet-packs, underground cities and roast dinners in the form of a pill, I’m simply going to discuss politics in the year 2045. Yes, we’re fast-forwarding 35 years to when The Boy and Youngest™ compete as rival leadership candidates for a major political party. (Where did I get that idea from?)

The campaigns start off fair and amicable. Both brothers stress common ground: a love of Lego; a dislike of green beans. Slowly, though, differences emerge. The Boy goes for smaller Lego, whereas Youngest™ firmly backs the larger Lego despite the advice of spin doctors who say it could alienate whole chunks of the party.
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Richard Hearn salutes the Booth Museum

Okay, so let’s talk about the majestic Booth Museum on Dyke Road. I mentioned it in a recent column, but it needed a whole 450 words to do it justice. In retrospect, you’d need to be a far better writer than me to really do it justice, so the first thing I’m going to say is just go there. Do it.
It’s named after Edward Booth who founded the museum in 1874. Read the rest of this article »

Richard Hearn entertains the kids for the weekend

Three males having to fend for themselves. My wife goes for a rare weekend away to visit a friend in Oxford – so The Boy, Youngest™ and I are home alone. Last weekend, I did a 10 mile walk. This is an altogether different challenge. Excitement, anticipation, nervousness. Uphill struggles. The Boy promises me he’ll help look after Youngest™.

I start packing a changing bag (nappies, food, bib and spoons etc) as I know the best ‘tactic’ is to get out of the house. While The Boy draws the world’s tallest giraffe, Youngest™ crawls around the kitchen like the world’s largest maggot. Something comes through the letterbox. ‘That’s a present from Mummy’ says The Boy, without looking up from the giraffe. His voice has a hint of melancholy. (It’s not a present, of course, it’s yet more junk mail from Virgin Media. Why don’t they leave me alone?)
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Richard Hearn navigates the way in the Peak District

This time last year, I met up with three university mates and we went up Kinder Scout. It’s turning into a regular thing and last weekend eight of us went for a 10-mile walk in the Peak District. Read the rest of this article »

Richard Hearn thinks crawling is a very special effect

Have I mentioned we now have a Health & Safety Officer living with us? As I write, he’s doing a Risk Assessment in our front room. He heads around the carpet identifying dangers. He’s great at it. He goes straight for them. He specialises in sharp objects, electrical leads and things an 11 month old really shouldn’t be near. Read the rest of this article »