The best things in life are freeholds
The Landlady
Just before Christmas, I completed a radio advertising job, which ended up paying far more than I expected. I decided to use some of the proceeds to treat my loved ones to rather extravagant Christmas presents and, in fact, I am not one for Christmas opulence and usually show my appreciation of the kids by shouting at them to empty the dishwasher, etc… so they were rather surprised on Christmas Day to see that Mrs Scrooge had loosened the grip on her purse strings.
The Boyfriend too was treated to a variety of gifts, one of which was hideously expensive coffee, which had been regurgitated by a weasel, apparently. I had the rather unappealing choice of the weasel coffee or one that had been excreted by a civet. You may think I’m talking crap (sic), but The Boyfriend, who is expert in most things you put in your mouth (in an alimentary way), told me that he really wanted to try a Sumatran coffee, which had been excreted by dung beetles. I thought he was having me on and – remembering a time in my youth when I was sent out for ‘tartan paint’ and a ‘long weight’ – approached the lady in the Algerian Coffee specialist in London with caution. After all that I have to say, I’ve never seen anyone so pleased to receive a small packet of weasel vomit for Christmas.
“The Boyfriend really wanted to try a Sumatran coffee which had been excreted by dung beetles”
My Italian lodger is due back – hopefully with a vacuum cleaner stuffed with Puglian delicacies – and therefore the peace at Landlady Towers will soon be shattered once more. I am just hoping that over the Christmas break, my lodger has lost his rather annoying tendency of following me around everywhere and virtually sitting on my lap in the living room. Mind you, I may be a little more charitable towards him now he’s been away for three weeks.
I am still having problems with the purchase of the freehold in Hastings. You may remember that we were going to go ahead and buy it without a valuation, then, at the 11th hour, one of the lessees decided we should get a formal valuation before proceeding. Typically, this lessee had remained totally silent and uninvolved until it was too late. Now, I am engaged in the tedious business of gathering everyone’s leases together and collecting the money for the valuation, which is proving to be a mammoth task. How hard is it to put a cheque in an envelope? Nigh on impossible, it would seem, and, naturally, the very man who is insisting on a formal valuation is the last person to send his lease copy and cheque. Bah!
I’ve only ever bought one freehold soley for myself – that was about six years ago, as it came with a flat and no one else wanted it at the time. I’ve since sold the flat, but kept the freehold and now the lessees wish to purchase. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but whenever I’ve purchased a freehold, I have always got a formal valuation, but ended up paying what the freeholder asked for – usually about 10% more to save the hassle of going to court. I am not greedy, but would like them to pay what the freehold is worth. The lessees however, beg to differ and seem to think that they should be paying approximately half of the true value. With The Boyfriend’s taste in coffee, I think they might have a fight on their hands.
