» Katie’s Carbon Footprint
Eco rebel Katie Glass kicks off Wave’s green challenge by seeing just how deep her carbon footprint really is…
I’ve got a terrible confession to make, and Wave is the worst possible place in which I could make it. I AM NOT GREEN. Actually, it’s worse than that. I’m not even yellow.
For years I have been actively anti-green with the same childish ‘whatever-you-say-I’ll-do-the-opposite’ spitefulness I employ for listening to my older bother. So as the world has turned ecofriendly, I have turned eco-nasty. An ozone layer denier, a malicious little plastic-warrior
Don’t talk to me about solar panels, wind farms, conservation or organic eating. That’s just the tip of my ever-melting iceberg. Let me really lay it on the line: I don’t do eco; I don’t vote Green; I always fly easyJet.
At work, I cram my bin with waste paper – because I can’t be bothered to cross the room and recycle. At home, the electrical goods in my house sit waiting, ever-ready, on standby.
While I smugly pop my washing machine on, just to clean the one top I want to wear tonight, I bite into an orange grown in Africa and chuck my flatmate’s diligently washed hummus tubs into the bin. The more the green crusade waged war around me, the more I ignored it.
But a change was a-comin’. And one day, there it was. Wave asked me to write a column about my struggle to change my eco ways, one week and one step at a time. It sounded like a challenge – hell, it was almost a bet. Could I beat the hippies at their own game? Damn it, I was willing to try.
I thought I would start by finding out what my carbon footprint
is – it seemed to be the easiest, least painful step I could take towards becoming a friend of the earth – as effortless as having a nap. I thought I could handle it.
Online at www.carbonfootprint.com I found a website adorned with smiling faces, photographs of little bugs, big bushy trees, puffy clouds and, best of all, a giraffe that actually looked like it was smiling. Looking at its big, gummy mouth, I thought what a shame it would be if it died just so I could buy asparagus in winter. And it felt good to be on the path towards doing the right thing.
The carbon calculator is like one of those lifestyle quizzes you do in women’s magazines to find out if you are too clingy, mad, single or fat – but in this one you can’t lie. I feel glad no one is looking as I diligently tot up the number of gas units, car rides and economy plane flights I have been guzzling my way through in a year.
As I add up my fuel debt I thank G-d that I never passed my driving test, that I don’t visit my mother more than once a year, that my work obsession means I never take a week off, and that we couldn’t afford to get the heater fixed in winter – and shivered our way through December.
Nowhere in the quiz does it mention recycling, laziness or an addiction to disposable make-up wipes. I thank G-d again, and hit the calculate button. As it turns out I am less eco-unfriendly than the average large, extended American family. A holiday or two less a year, in fact, and I’d almost be normal. Thanks to me – and the fact I cannot afford a tumble dryer – the gummy giraffe will live a little longer. I feel a sliver of pride in my cold plastic heart.
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