Mama Malone

Malone can’t resolve the dilemma of dating Vs DIY

I’ve been asked on a few dates recently, but I just can’t be bothered with the opposite sex until the building works are done on my flat.
That’s not me getting old, honest!

This is because until the work is done I cannot think straight. And not because I don’t have my own bedroom. I’m not the kind of girl that would need a bedroom after a first date. Well not any more, not since becoming born-again virgin post motherhood.

I’m joking, I just haven’t got the space mentally in my head for anyone else. I am just about managing to be nice to daughter and myself. Never mind making someone feel special in romance.

Though I would like someone to be nice to me, its quite stressful doing house renovations. I’m converting the kitchen to a bedroom for my sprog. It’ll be small but adequate for a child’s bedroom. In the ’50s everybody grew up in a box room, it was tradition.

“For a woman, there’s nothing like do it yourself to make you feel really single”

Illustration: Lili Bé http://130cartons.com

When I told someone that I would be having the larger bedroom, they said: “My… you’re such an only child!” I am still in shock at this, as I did give my child my bedroom, while I slept on the sofa in the lounge, for three whole years.

And apart from that, you couldn’t actually fit a double bed into the new bedroom/old kitchen. I really could do with someone to be nice to me. Some support and hugs. Hey, forget the hugs, maybe just a lift to B&Q so I don’t have to cycle back with the new skirting board!

For a woman there’s nothing like DIY to make you feel really single. I don’t miss someone doing the work, I miss being able to talk to someone about it all, discuss it, and problem-solve. Mostly, I miss someone to share the responsibility with of all the decision-making.

All this responsibility is scary! What if I make the wrong decisions? Does the fan extraction really need external venting? Is it OK to trim the architrave? I don’t know! I know how many hours of sleep my daughter needs not to be a monster the next day.

I know how many snacks she can consume before she’ll refuse to eat her dinner and wake the next day at 6am hungry. Sure, I could go on a date but instead of light flirty banter, I’d be bringing paint colour charts. “Do you think blue is OK for a four year-old-girl’s bedroom?” Bringing along sink catalogues: “brushed steel or shiny chrome?” It might be bit much for a first date but that’s what I need right now, not romance.

Perhaps when my kitchen is installed in my lounge, I can start dating again and enjoy romantic meals… with the hum of the newly placed fridge in the background… If I was a real only child I’d just leave the fridge in the child’s bedroom, right? Hmm…



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