Guy Lloyd on the fine art of courting celebrities… from afar
The Perfect Combination
I have a pop crush. She’s been No.1 in my pop crush chart for six years. And yes, I have a pop crush chart, doesn’t everyone? She’s had some challenges over the years; Katy B, Rihanna and Rita Ora of late, but nobody has actually come close to knocking Lily Allen off the top spot.
It wasn’t love at first sight by any means. I think I was a bit annoyed by her in the early days. Then she disappeared for a while after the first album, changed her look, walked out of a caravan in the video for ‘The Fear’, and I was in love. It was the dark brown eyes and the perfect combination of cute and sexy. I immediately informed my wife that I intended to marry Lily and set about trying to woo her.
“I need time to woo a lady, but Lily was in a rush”
My love grew as she popped up on the telly more and more, promoting her album. Then she confirmed a UK tour, which would include Glastonbury Festival and the Brighton Centre; two opportunities for her to fall in love with me. My job at Glastonbury Festival was working for the official radio station, Worthy FM, presenting the Breakfast Show and spending the rest of the day backstage at the Pyramid, gathering interviews from bands and passing celebrities. I was officially on ‘Lily Watch’.
I was there from the Wednesday, but it isn’t really until the music starts on the Friday that the celebs rock up. They were all there; the Geldofs, Kate Moss, bloody ‘Grimmy’, even my future father-in-law, Keith Allen. But where was Lily?
And then suddenly I saw this girl exit from the VIP teepee area. She had a purple wig on and glasses, but I knew from her size and her walk that this was unmistakably Lily Allen. Immediately, I pounced. I just had to make contact, get a photo, then if that went well… a marriage proposal.
In short, I got that photo but we did not fall in love. I need time to woo a lady, but Lily was in a rush and could not commit to a long-term relationship in that moment. I met her again that weekend, soon after her gig, as she was getting into a car to take her back to civilisation.
However, again, there was no time to fall in love. I also found out a few weeks after the festival that Lily had got together with her future husband that weekend. They went on to have two children and will probably live happily ever after. It could have been me.
Still, divorce rates are rocketing (and will do after my wife reads this) so I live in hope that Lily Lloyd will be a reality one day.
Please do not pass this blog on to the police.
Follow me: @guy_lloyd
