Mama Malone
Malone deals with a toddler on a mission to get a scooter – by any means possible
The toddler wants one of ‘them’ scooters. Even if you are not a parent you may have noticed every kid in Brighton seems to have one. The playground is a blur of blue plastic three-wheeled toddleroids moving better than they can walk.
Kids don’t understand about possessions and rights of ownership. This is something taught. Human beings it seems are born believing that everything is everyone’s. We soon teach them material possessions belong to individuals and sharing is only a temporary state. Otherwise it’s theft. Down the playground, my toddler jumps on abandoned scooters while their owners are in the sandpit/slide/swings. She’ll scoot off with them and a lot of the time I just pretend I haven’t noticed, unless the mum looks like she could have me in a fight! Or the parent is leaving and looking for her £50 scooter. Yes £50!!
I can’t believe how much they are, or how many of them are owned by Brighton toddlers!
“If I buy one of these things it will never leave my sight”
I asked a mum down the playground if they were worth the money, she said ‘Yes‘ and added that they are never in car boots – people hang onto them. And that they will also help speed up my toddler’s travelling, I’m sold on the idea, but £50!
We try to leave the playground, and the two and a half-year-old (that belongs to me, but I suddenly wish didn’t), starts a huge embarrassing tantrum. “MY SCOOTER!“ She hasn’t grasped that she was using some other kid’s toy, and that now we are leaving, she has to hand it back. Or as I prefer to just sly off leaving it somewhere where they didn’t leave it in the first place. If I buy one of these things it will never leave my sight, it will be attached to us by a steel chain which may ultimately render its use futile.
I stupidly tell the toddler (in order to curtail the tantrum, doh) “Maybe we’ll get you one from the shops one day“. All the toddler hears is: “I will buy you a scooter from the shops, NOW.“ She is calmed until we arrive at our front door, then resumes screaming, “No! Home! Shops!! Scooter!!!“ Toddler melts into ‘tired and needs feeding‘ meltdown. There is no way now I can tell her I’ll get her one, as she’ll just think she’s won and that tantrums equal getting her own way!
