Nangle Natters: Love to love

Valentine’s Day. The curse and the gift. I remember a past Valentine’s Day where my then partner and I had arranged a beautiful meal out together. We both even dressed up fancy. And we both seemed so charged that we couldn’t help but start the sniping before the starters had been cleared away. Fortunately we sussed out that we were both just on edge, and by dessert were back on an even keel again.

Last Valentine’s I’d only been seeing someone for a couple of weeks – that stage where you’re not even sure if you should mark the day or play it cool. I received a single playing card – framed – of a queen of hearts. Now that’s cool. I think I gave a Star Wars colouring in book. Less romantic but showing I was listening to interests and activities. I did my best, considering the tricky timing of how long we’d been seeing each other.

When I’m single I’ve long-stopped looking for any random anonymous cards arriving in my letterbox. Those stopped when I left home and my Mum wasn’t around to ‘find’ a couple of homemade collages to pop in my brother and my porridge bowls before school. Both sweet and a little disheartening, as a teenager.

We were not good sharks

When I was a student and single I’d go out with my mate unsuccessfully ‘sharking’ on Valentine’s night, but having a lovely time with him. We’d eye up single people in the bar and see if we could play it cool and catch their eye. Apparently it doesn’t work if you can’t keep a straight face – which was entirely down to us and our lack of faith in our ability to do what we were attempting. We were not good sharks.

And then there have been the marvellous anti-Valentine’s nights I’ve been out on. Glorious anarchic comedy nights revelling in relationship independence. No knocks to those paired up (or other numbers that work for your particular relationship), but we were happy that we were with the friends we loved the most, and not settling with something that hadn’t been right for either of us. Raucous stand-up, great characters, free laughter without inhibition – a great celebration of a real love.

This year I’ve made a thing for someone. Specifically tailored, but small enough to still be a token. Happy Valentine’s everyone. And may you all find a collage in your porridge bowl.