Your reflections on the Jubilee celebrations

Diamond geezers!

I thought the A.B.of C.’s sermon on the virtues of public service and sacrificially performing one’s civic duties was so refreshing. At last a clergyman who practises what he preaches! I wish him all the best in his surprise, early retirement.

Gillian Bulstrode, Southwick

Credit to the BBC for their excellent coverage of the Jubilee. I especially enjoyed the way they kept cutting away from some particularly colourful bit of pageantry to an in-depth, behind-the-scenes interview with, the bloke who empties the bins, or the CEO of the company that hired out the crowd barriers.

Charles Millford, Patcham

The whole 96 hours were a joy from start to finish, but the highlight for everyone must have been that moment, entirely befitting the dignity of her office, when Her Majesty fumbled about trying to fit that big, fake, plastic diamond into that contraption that looked like something out of The Crystal Maze. Say what you like about Britain, but we do this sort of thing better than anyone. Roll on the Olympics!

Emma Hutchins, Fishersgate

Did someone actually bother writing Rob Brydon’s links for the Jubilee?

Anne Spencer, Kemp Town

What an inspired choice of Paul McCartney’s to finish his set with ‘Ob-La-Di’. It could only have been improved had Ringo come on to sing ‘Octopus’ Garden’.

John Naughton, Hove

ETIQUETTE

Our columnist solves your social behaviour problems in a trice

Dear Hetty,
My wife and I have recently moved back to this country from Spain, to a very pleasant town in Sussex. My wife has suggested I join the local golf club as a way of meeting people and making friends. I haven’t played or been a member of a club for a good thirty years. Could you let me know what the correct etiquette is for joining these days? I don’t want to bring shame on the family name.
Robert Erwitt, Arundel

Dear Robert,
It’s simple; leave a skinned rabbit outside the clubhouse door for three days running for the club secretary to find. On the third day he will ask, “who keeps leaving these things here?” You will pop up from your hiding place and exclaim, “’Twas I, a poor believer”. The secretary will then grasp you by both shoulders and ask, “are you a good Englishman?” To which you must answer, “I am. I am a good Englishman”. Then you will be lead to a locked room, where you must fast for seven days and nights. On the eighth day you will be released and awarded your ceremonial slacks and bright Pringle jumper.
Hetty X