Edie P
Humum Missing in Action
Humum has been missing for one week now. I know it’s been a week, because I measure my days by The Dogwalker. The Dogwalker comes once a week – I call this day ‘Day One’. There are six more days after; Day Two, Three, Four, Five, Six and Seven. Then it’s back to Day One again. Days are measured by ‘two dinners’ and ‘one night-nights’. Dinner One happens in the morning, shortly after Humum and The Frenchman wake up, and Dinner Two in the evening, shortly before they go into the lounge to sit on the sofa. Night-nights happens when they get off The Sofa and go to the bedroom, telling me: “Night-nights go to Edie’s Bed.”
Between each dogwalk there are 13 dinners and six night-nights. That’s how I know Humum has been missing for one week. The last time I saw Humum was last Day One, when she was giving me Dinner One before the Dogwalker came to collect me. When The Dogwalker dropped me home, she was gone. I knew something was amiss when it came to Night-Nights and The Frenchman let me join him in the bed, instead of telling me to go to Edie’s bed.
“Between each Dogwalk there are 13 Dinners and 6 Night-Nights”
It’s been this way for one week now and there’s still no sign of Humum.
It’s been fun just hanging out with The Frenchman. I get taken to the pub a lot and get to share takeaways and beer. But I miss Humum, it’s just not the same without her. I hope she comes back soon. I’m even starting to miss the hoover.
