Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

What Was That?

Dear Mike,

Further to Peter Bostwick’s letter to you some weeks ago, I too have a food-related query. For my 16th birthday, my parents really went to town, hired a function room at a local hotel, invited all my friends, and even contracted a band to play! My mother did the catering, which included such delicacies as sausage rolls, cucumber sandwiches, stuffed eggs, potato crisps, and so on. There was, of course, a birthday cake, but it was another dessert that really caught my eye, or should I say taste buds! It consisted of a layer of strawberry jelly, in which was encased some kind of cake, and also tinned fruit. Atop that was a layer of custard, and atop that a layer of whipped cream, the surface of which was decorated with glace cherries. I’d love to try this dish again, but never thought to ask my mother its name and sadly she passed away last year. Any ideas? Please help, as my mouth is watering just thinking about it!

Cyril Rowntree, Hove

Dear Cyril,

Don’t worry – I won’t ‘trifle’ with you! The succulent dish you remember so well (of which I’m a big fan myself, incidentally) is, of course, Lancashire Hot Pot. Glad to have been of help.

Please keep those letters coming in!

Mike X

Clarifications & Corrections

In Issue 480 the last word in line three of the first article should have read ‘clock’, not ‘cock’.

In Issue 480 the second to last word in line three of the first article should have read ‘cock’, not ‘clock’.

In Issue 482, remarks attributed to Ray Alan of Lord Charles fame were actually made by Carlos the Jackal.

In Issue 483, the paragraph ‘Placing his hand over the switch he whispered “goodbye mother” and pulled; instantaneously the white-haired octogenarian was sucked out of the airlock, exploding in the airless vacuum of space like a flesh grenade’, should have read ‘Beans, sausages, fried egg, fried bread, bacon, tomatoes, toast, and a choice of tea or coffee are available at all time as well as a selection of lunchtime specials’.

The capital of Belize is, of course, Belmopan, not Worksop as claimed in Issue 485.

In Issue 486, a picture of Roy Jenkins was wrongly captioned ‘Chico Marx’.

In Issue 490, in a story about Jeremy Clarkson becoming sexually aroused while beating a gypsy to death with a brick in a skip, we should have made it clear we were referring to a completely different Jeremy Clarkson from the BBC presenter and journalist.

The 13 stanza poem about Eliza Skelton in issue 492 appeared by mistake, as the result of the wrong attachment being sent, and should have been a spoof article about St James’s Street being made into a theme park. Bare Cheek would like to apologise to Ms Skelton, particularly for lines 22, 23 and 50.

In Issue 493, the quotation “I will personally hunt down and kill everyone who disagrees with me over anything” was wrongly attributed to Thora Hurd. It was, of course, said by Kathy Staff.

In Issue 495, the words ‘horribly poisonous’ and ‘entirely safe for human consumption’ were, unfortunately, reversed. Apologies for any inconvenience.