Bus names

Their connections to the local area explained…

Louis Prima – no. 59
The band leader, trumpeter and goofball’s hit song ‘Just A Gigolo’ was covered badly at every single burlesque and cabaret night in Brighton between the years 2004 and 2006, until the advert that used it was dropped and everyone forgot about it.

Mary Peters – no. 16
A Rottingdean resident wrote offering shelter to the brawny, Protestant, Olympic-Gold-Medallist Pentathlete and shot-putter after the IRA issued their infamous on-air death-threat via the BBC. Peters declined and returned to Portadown to a hero’s welcome.

Sancho Panza – no. 4
There used to be a bookstore on Surrey Street named after literature’s most globular side-kick. It closed down shortly before Brighton applied for City of Culture status, and was replaced by Taboo. (Not to be confused with the Private Shop on the same road, which sells literature of a different
kind altogether.)

Gracie Allen – no. 8
An episode of the long-running Stateside radio sit-com featured the zany comedienne calling on-and-off-show husband George Burns from Brighton, England, when they were in fact booked to appear at Brighton Beach.

‘Spook’ from ‘The Wizard of Id’ – no. 87
Under Sheriff of the County of East Sussex – 1986/1987.

What we used to say

An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the original, simple, once common terms that have been abandoned in favour of overblown, crass, managerial neologisms.

WHAT WE SAY NOW:
“Obligated”

An ugly and needless extension worthy of Hilda Baker. In the same category as ‘Strangulation’. ‘I am much obligated to you all for invitating me to make this unveiling, and the country salutates you for your courage.’

WHAT WE USED TO SAY: “Obliged”

In&Out

SPECIAL “TYPES DISAPPROVED BY YOUR GRAN” EDITION

In
• Trendy Vicars
• Long-haired Laybabouts
• Militant Feminists
• Shop Stewards

Out
• Bearded Lefties
• Single Mums
• Punk Rockers
• Bolshie Students

Edward De Bonehead’s Lateral Thinking Puzzles
NO. 6: THE MAN AND WOMAN
A man and woman are walking along the pavement. Though the woman gave birth to the man, she is not his mother and he is not her son, and, moments later when a car mounts the pavement and kills the woman, the man does not mourn, but instead throws a party, and begins limbo dancing. What is going on?

SOLUTION TO LAST WEEK’S PUZZLE
The lawyer is a dwarf.