Matt Whistler on the return of the bird

Well, what a bizarre turn of events and TV-related week it’s been. A certain online bingo company have shafted me with a barge pole with drawing pins glued to the end. I only say this because of the recent tide of ‘Surfin’ Bird’ die hards letting the world know.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not spitting feathers really, the sight of a blue bird at a bus stop is quite intriguing, and I liked it so much I’m sat in a fluffy blue
bird outfit now. The fact that the ad agency’s creatives liked it so much and then exercised flagrant plagiarism is a compliment.

Remember the Guinness ad with the guy dancing round the pint? There was a huge court case where the artist who sent the video idea ended up owing Guinness several hundred thousand pints worth of the Black stuff. You need a big lawyer to take on the big boys and I just don’t have the wonga, I’ll bet 10 to one the bookies have won this one.

So what’s the score then? Well, thanks for asking. I am simply going to sell a piece of art called Bingo for the same amount of the gambling company’s jackpot.

I am then going to divide this amount to every artist with a noble artistic endeavour throughout the UK. Oh what the hell, it’s obvious isn’t it. I’m not gonna lie, I am a bit vexed and to express this inner torment I am already working on the next viral. I am under film world oath not to divulge the main thread but here’s a sweet little trickle: Piers Morgan will be interviewing me about… Sorry that’s all I’m prepared to say at this stage.

Okay, just one more then: the first time I watched the play back my chair pushed me backwards onto the floor. The CGI magic is top banana. So to watch the film stayed tuned to YouTube. To buy the bingo art work go to Saatchi online and look at my alter ego Whistles.

Here’s a strap line: False promotion permits no doubt. Right that’s it, I’m diluting my next coffee. Eat too much, drink to excess, and make sure the turkey is unequally shared out while accidentally sitting on a bauble. No, really, have a top Christmas readers and thanks for all your amazing feedback. I love yer, kiss kiss, wink wink, whistle whistle.