Vanessa Austin Locke: The alpha, and the enigma

Latest Bill sent me a press release the other day and since he (arguably) has a good sense of humour I didn’t instantly spam it. It was from The Academy of Social Attraction, based right here in Brighton, who teach men how to get girlfriends.

I arranged a meeting with girlfriend guru Gary Gunn and his partner in charm, screenwriter Daniel Levy, to discover their secrets. Having had a peek at the website I thought I was about to meet one of those American motivational speaker types, who attempt to analyse and influence everyone with methods learnt from NLP For Dummies. Just Googled that. There actually is an NLP For Dummies. Facepalm. Anyway, I went along to meet them with an open mind and once I’d made it clear that I was not NLP-able and had smarmed-and-disarmed their PR man (not just for politicians and movie stars), we were able to cut through the crap and have an interesting conversation. What I wanted to know was what these two experts thought women wanted. The answer Gunn gave me was this: Domination.

I think most women’s reaction to that would be indignation followed by rage blackout, because that’s what’s been drilled into us. But I was interested by this bold reply and there’s part of me that agrees. The current sexual trend seems to back it up anyway.

“What beta guy has a chance up against an alpha West Street wench on a Saturday night?”

We girls have become an intimidating and dominant force ourselves – a generation of alpha women daring the male to take us down. What beta guy has a chance up against an alpha West Street wench on a Saturday night? I’ve seen women laugh in the face of the approaching male more times than I can count. It’s a blood sport. But we don’t seem to be any happier for our newfound dominance. In fact mental heath stats for women are shocking, with one in four receiving treatment for depression at some point in their lifetime as opposed to one in ten men.

I’m all for the re-masculation of men, I certainly need a firm hand. But the problem with teaching shyer guys dominant techniques is that they have to keep them up. This was the point at which Levy piped up with his take on the subject: If you’re not the alpha, be the enigma. The dominance thing is all very well if you can back it up, but if you can’t you’ll be tolerated for a while and then, like the lion cub crawling all over mummy-beast, you’ll be batted into the middle of next week. So your next best weapon is intrigue, which still leaves you with introverted power. Some might call that dominance.

Gunn and Levy can teach men how to get girls both on and offline, but can they teach them how to retain them? And more importantly, do they find them girls these guys want to keep? Have these men even thought much about what kind of girl they want? With so much focus on what women want, I want to know what men want. Anyone know?
For tips and techniques on how to get a girl (any girl) visit: www.socialattraction.co.uk