Andrew Kay: Manners maketh…

How modern am I? I have just downloaded my monthly bus pass to my iPhone. I know, technology is my best friend. Or at least it would be if I could find the app on the screen in bright sunlight and, having done that, remember which side of my phone to point at the driver.

It’s a year and a half since I started using the buses on a regular basis and I have to say that I no longer miss driving around the city and, in particular, trying to park and then pay the crazy parking fees. No, the bus suits me just fine, well most of the time.

I have started noticing a rather horrible practice that some people seem to think is acceptable. Brighton and Hove Buses are busy, few services run empty and finding a seat is often difficult, especially if, like me, you don’t like to go to the upper deck.

So when I see single passengers occupying the aisle seat and blocking access to the window seat it makes me rather cross. It’s such an arrogant thing to do, especially when the bus is full.

It happened to me a few days ago. The bus was full to bursting and as I moved along towards the back I spotted a window seat empty. I politely asked the person occupying the outer space if they would let me sit. The person scowled at me and grumbled. I was pretty speechless, unlike the young man behind them, having seen what had happened, decided to launch into an attack on the offender.

You may have noticed that as yet I have only referred to the seat-hogging offender as a ‘person’, the truth is this was a smartly dressed lady of advancing years. I know, a real butter wouldn’t melt type. Who would believe it?

It depresses me so much when I see this kind of behaviour. Rudeness, bad manners, call it what you like – it’s just not very nice behaviour, totally unacceptable.

At 57 I still stand up and let people who I feel need the seat more than me sit down. The other day someone stood up and offered me their seat and I accepted as the gouty foot was giving me more than a bit of gip.

“Manners cost nothing and can help make life seem just that bit better, no, they can make life a whole lot better”

Manners cost nothing and can help make life seem just that bit better, no, they can make life a whole lot better. Last night I saw a car parked across two disabled parking bays. Not even in the right direction but at a 90º angle to the marked spaces. I looked in the window and there was no disabled parking permit, just a smug looking man, again of advancing years. It was all I could do to restrain myself from rapping on the window and giving him a piece of my mind, and maybe I should have, but I was in a rush and tired and… well to be honest, I was not in the mood for a confrontation.

I might have ended up swearing at him and thereby losing my dignity and my manners. I walked on, cross with him and with myself.

A few yards down the street I saw an elderly man approaching. He was badly dressed and he looked like he needed a bath, but he was eating something so I thought things could not be too bad. That was until I drew alongside him. I looked to see what his dinner was and I was horrified. In his hand was an open pack of uncooked sausages. These he was, tearing them apart and stuffing them raw into his mouth. It was a chilling sight.

What kind of a world are we living in? What happens to a man that he will end up eating raw sausages on the street, or a lady who feels she has the right to occupy two seats when people are standing on the bus, or a man who mops up parking spaces for those less able? And what do we do about it? Do we grit our teeth as I did or do we launch an attack as the man on the bus did on my behalf? I am at a loss as to what to say, really I am. If you have any ideas then please let me know.