Bare cheek: What was that?

Mike Hunter is the man with all the answers

Dear Mike,
Here’s a tricky one for you; many years ago I happened to catch a movie late at night on TV that has stayed with me ever since. Now, I missed the opening titles, but the action was as follows; a knight recently returned from the crusades returns to a homeland ravaged by plague and religious intolerance and encounters a personification of Death, whom he persuades to join him in a game of chess with his (the knight’s) life as forfeit.

The film was extremely sombre in tone and was, fittingly, in black and white. I have a feeling it was a hugely-influential classic of world cinema, alluded to and parodied in countless films since, and I’ve a hunch it was Scandinavian – perhaps Danish or Norwegian. Any ideas? I’ve tried looking on the internet but to no avail. I once saw the famous Swedish film director Ingmar Bergman coming out of the NFT and tried to ask him if he knew anything about it, but he pushed me aside rather rudely and got into his car. Any ideas?
Royston Hammer, Portslade

Dear Royston,
You know you’re probably the “seventh” person to ask me about this particular film this week! But don’t worry – I won’t “seal” your fate by keeping you in suspense! The film in question is indeed as classic of arthouse cinema and it is, of course, The Cool Mikado, directed by Michael Winner in 1962, and starring Dennis Price, Mike and Bernie Winters, and Frankie Howerd.

Hope I’ve been of help, and keep those letters flooding in folks!
Mike. X

In & Out

In
• The Last Remake of Beau Geste
• Nigel Short
• Schwartzing it
• The Hitler Diaries
• Melchior

Out
• Liquid Sky
• Carbolic soap
• Pointing out that “T.S.Eliot” is an anagram of “toilets”
• Sticklebacks
• Balthazar

Spotted

With John Berryman

On Brighton’s draughty streets,
Mr Bones,
There is tooing and froeing & a voice
(Strong and stinking with life)
Rings out: “Hey! Ain’t that..?”
Or is it? A mother chucks her
Child’s chin and smiles blindly
& an aching grandmother
Steps aside in bliss and greed.
But he moves on thro’ the Lanes
His step steady & right & true.
And again there comes
That shallow, venal voice-
“Is that Paul Hollywood?” ’Tis.
“Is that Paul Hollywood?” ’Tis.

Follow me: @MitchellnNixon