The 2012 London Olympics

Yes! It’s 2012 and in a few short months it’ll be time for the olympics – the event that will finally put London on the map after all these years. We asked our readers what they thought of it all and have printed the more legible replies below.

Personally I can’t wait for the opening ceremony orchestrated by Danny Boyle and Stephen Daldry, surely the two most talented men in Britain. I predict it will all go brilliantly, and in no way whatsoever be a damp squib or a failure due to the UK’s unswerving inability to organise even the smallest knees up in a brewery without the whole thing collapsing about everybody’s ears. Hooray for Britain!
S. Traven, Hove

As we are hosting the games, providing accommodation and so on, I think it would be only fair and polite if all the other nations were to wear a slight physical handicap, say a 200lb bag of shot strapped between the shoulders and a small concrete block attached to each leg. Come on other nations – show some sporting spirit!
Tony Crisp, Portslade

I think the best thing about the Olympics is those fantastic mascots, Wenlock and Mandeville. They’ve been a real hit, haven’t they? My two year old loves them, although he has started having extremely bad nightmares since I bought him the cuddly toys of them, but I’m sure that’s a coincidence. Hooray for Britain!
Linda Torquemada, Aldrington
I think the opening ceremony should consist of the people who designed the ‘2012’ logo being strung up. That would put the crowd in a fantastic mood for the games.
Mike Harwood, Brighton

In these days of political corruption, crime, drugs and despair, it’s nice to have something like the Olympics to look forward to, because there’s never anything controversial about the Olympics. And it’s not like anyone involved with the Olympics takes drugs. Oh no.
Sandra Pascoe, Hove

I had an Olympic village accommodation centre built over my house, squashing it flat, and am now living in a cardboard box under a railway bridge. Nevertheless I am as enthusiastic about the Olympic Games as ever! Hooray for Britain!!!
Simon Colon, Portslade

WHAT WAS THAT?

Can’t remember the name of a film, book, or similar? Mike Hunter is the man with the answers.

Dear Mike,
Bit of a tricky one for you here I’m afraid. I was having a drink in my local hostelry the other night with some close friends and talk turned to a movie star we remembered. The man in question was a tough, grizzled figure who appeared in many films in the ’70s and I believe is still working today. He was particularly noted for his cowboy flicks, in which he tended to play a handsome, batted loner, often unshaven and puffing on a cheroot and wearing a poncho.
I believe he also made a name for himself playing a uncompromising policeman – with very much a non-progressive view on law and order. Unfortunately not one-man-jack of us could remember the fellow’s name. Mind you, we had been sipping a fair few pints. Please can you put me out of my misery so I can put my friends out of theirs.
Thanks very much,
Derek Pye, Peacehaven

Dear Derek,
Well, I’m pleased to be able to ‘make your day’ and reveal that the rough, tough hombre you recall so well was, of course, the man with no name himself, Tom Courtenay.
Mike XXX