Latest Seagulls: Mark Brailsford on sitting nicely in 8th place

As it has been a few weeks since my last column (now that it’s monthly) let’s just summarise. Somehow, despite some narrow squeaks and average displays, Albion sit very nicely thank you, in 8th place at the time of writing. Other teams have conspired to slip up on a regular basis with the now customary Championship ‘anyone can beat anyone’ mantra. How kind of Ipswich to blow the chance of pushing Albion further down the league and how obliging of Blackburn to be so inconsistent and Leeds to combust in such an amusing fashion.

Other teams around us draw or lose against teams they should be beating and lower placed sides seem adept at surprising all and sundry. But there sit Oscar Garcia’s men, scraping 1-0 victories like George Graham’s Arsenal on a good day. So, why is there a slight sense of being underwhelmed in the Albion populace? It could be the uninspiring transfer window dealings, players leaving (Barnes, Bridcutt) and their replacements unheard of by most fans. Interestingly, the signing of David Rodriguez looks promising, although explaining the origins of his nickname of “Spanish Rodders” to him in Spanish would be something I would pay to see. I imagine Inigo Calderon, who seems to be the best man for the job, starting the explanation thus:

CALDE: Okay. There is a comedy show called Only Fools and Horses.
ROD: Que?
CALDE: It’s an old funny comedy show. And there’s a character called Trigger.
ROD: Me Trigger?
CALDE: No, you Rodney.
ROD: Me no comprendez.
CALDE: We’ve already got a Spanish Dave.
(SPANISH DAVE INTERJECTS)
DAVE: Ey, mi no Espanish, mi Basque.
ROD: Why this man he say he ladies sexy underwear?
CALDE: He likes to play sexy football. But back to you being Spanish Rodders.
ROD: Si?
CALDE: Because we already have Spanish Dave, you cannot be Spanish Dave, so the fans they call you Spanish Rodders as an alternative because Trigger always called Rodney, ‘Dave’.
ROD: Mi still no comprendez.
(LEO ULLOA PIPES UP)
LEO: You think this confusing? They call me Spanish Len and mi from Argentina.
ROD: Eez okay, I get ball, I run like Forest Gump, fans call me whatever. I understand good.
CALDE: Bueno.
ROD: One more thing Calde, I speak the good English, but I no understand a word when Captain shouting.
CALDE: No problema, nobody understand skipper, he Scottish.

You could be forgiven for thinking this scenario has some basis in truth as integrating new players does take time, understanding of tactics and personality is rarely instant and, given time, Spanish Rod looks a very good signing. Dale Stephens arrived at the same time, and whilst he has the cultural advantages of being local, his tactical learning curve will be equally steep, but he too looks a shrewd long term signing whom Charlton fans were loathe to lose. The loan window may offer the most likely option for Oscar to recruit a play-off boosting signing or two but as long as Albion keep grinding out the one nils fans can cling onto a sliver of hope for that last play-off spot – and there’s always CMS!

FA Cup

At the time of writing (post match after drawing with Hull at the Amex) the prospect of Gus Poyet bringing his Sunderland side to the Amex in the next round is tantalisingly close. If Albion get past Hull City a big ‘if’, this prospect promises to divide fans right down the middle. Some day, even if it’s not in the FA Cup 6th round, Albion will meet their old boss on the pitch. What will you do? Boo? Cheer? Applaud politely? Make flushing toilet gestures at the bench? Fans who think Poyet flounced his way out of the job and deserves no sympathy seem to be numerous, but one would hope some appreciation for what he did achieve would be forthcoming. Arms folded with indifference might be the appropriate response. Personally, for my tribute, I’ll be in the loo.