Charm offensive
Oh, my giddy aunt! It would appear that every straight girl’s ideal proposition would be a separated single dad athlete who’s quite good at the old quickstep and has an ex-girlfriend who is incredibly successful in her own right. This’ll be fun. Cheers Gavin Henson for stepping into the breach on The Bachelor.
The popular TV format that’s done so well Stateside is at last coming to our fair shores, but as the British shores are somewhat chillier we start by relocating our version to the south of France. It wouldn’t do for our 25 ladies to start going that mottled blue colour comedians are so fond of saying lasses from the north turn on a night out baring flesh.
This first episode starts out with the big reveal as to who the charming girls will be competing to win the heart of. To be fair, despite my rather harsh opening assessment, Welsh national rugby star Henson does seem to be a bit of a catch. For both the girls and the production company. He’s media-savvy, so less likely to embarrass the programme with out-of-hours cavorting, he scrubs up well and he’s already known to the Heat generation. His image is that of nice lad your grandmother would offer a Custard Cream to instead of a Digestive.
However, he has already stirred up rumblings from the Welsh rugby squad with regards to his off-the-pitch media career. Being seen as the twinkling boy-next-door star may get him a spot on Saturday night’s ballroom dancing, but it doesn’t do much to help team solidarity. Perhaps the fact that he’s turning 30 next year is prompting him to look for a career with a longevity that doesn’t rely quite so much in him being physically better than the next lot of fit young things snapping at his heels. Just an idea.
“Regretting all that swinging from the chandeliers now, aren’t we ladies?”
Regardless of his motivations, the girls’ motivations are probably equally complex. Twenty-five of them arrive in the Cote d’Azur and by the end of the first episode our Gav must choose only his favourite 15 to save with a rose. Still quite a bevy of beauties but also ten tear-filled mascara-running messes in waiting.
The way in which he determines his choice is a speed date bright and early the next morning. Regretting all that swinging from the chandeliers now, aren’t we ladies? But then, it’s not like his famous ex Charlotte Church wasn’t known to neck a few drinkie-poos before bedtime if the occasion demanded it. Maybe handling your hangover will be a major point in a hopeful lass’s favour.
Whoever wins, this is just the latest in a triumph of reality television with heightened emotions and staged confrontations hogging the ratings. The setting may look lush but with none of the expense of top quality writing, acting and production, it’s still a bargain at twice the price for the networks. The fast food of television – instantly gratifying but in no way of much substance. Still, it’s bound to fill the pages of various publications as more reality stars are generated and Gavin might even get his own chat show. Stranger things have happened, Charlotte Church.
The Bachelor, Five, 19 August
