Latest Seagulls: Mark Brailsford on half-time talk

Just when you think The Albion are about to storm into a play-off position, along comes one of those performances that frustrate the hell out of everyone, including, one can be sure, Oscar and the players. After some fantastic hard won results against Queens Park Rangers and away to Bolton, along comes the home game against Ipswich. I was actually struggling to recall Albion’s opponents on that forgettable Saturday at the Amex, I had to ask my wife who our our opponents were that day, so successfully had I wiped that disappointment from my short-term memory.

Then the massively deflating defeat to a poor Sheffield Wednesday side comes along and Albion look like being also rans before the business end of the season kicks in. Other results went Albion’s way, this topsy turvy Championship is enthrallingly unpredictable again this season, and yet Albion seem to falter at just the wrong moment. Even in victory, Albion just can’t seem to get going, it’s almost as if we have to be losing before sufficient pace and attacking intent materialises. It’s difficult to shake off the impression that the speed of play just lacks that spark to really put teams under pressure. The same pattern seems to recur again and again.

So, how to get the team going for it from the start? Here’s one possible solution: at five minutes to three, Oscar gets the team in the dressing room as if it’s the half time team talk. He then gets Jonesy to make the tea, then writes 0-1 on the changing room flip chart.

“The speed of play lacks that spark to put teams under pressure”

He then explains (through Jonesy as he hands out the cups and saucers) that it’s not too late to get something out of the game, to pass and move the ball more quickly and tell Lua Lua to get ready to come on in 15 minutes. Then, maybe, just maybe, the crowd won’t have to pull their hair out every week watching our lovely blue and white Rolls Royce of a team, kangarooing up the Downs in second gear for an hour.

Cometh the hour cometh The Hosko?
Leo Ulloa falling ill before the Sheffield Wednesday game was rather unfortunate, especially as the endless recovery process currently being endured by CMS and Hoskins appears never ending.

How Oscar must have cursed his luck that these two fine goalscorers were not able to step up and fill the void left by that man from Argentina. Well, I say cursed, Oscar seems so laid back, the nearest to losing it he gets is probably a rather pronounced shrug whilst turning the pages of Plato’s Republic in the bath. Would it be a tad unfair to load too much expectation onto the shoulders of two players who have had awful injuries, who have both been out for a year and expect them to come in and start banging in hatfuls of goals for fun? Yes, obviously, but it would be great if they did!

The way the team have been shunning chances of late, it must be tempting to strap Hoskins and CMS together with bandages as if preparing for a three-legged race just to get them onto the pitch. It would make a virtue of their one good leg each and I’m sure they could do a job.

Phew!
One good thing about Albion possibly slipping out of contention for the playoffs (although you never know, so unpredictable has the season been so far) my potential Treason Show date clash on 24th May with the playoff final shouldn’t be an issue. And on that shameless note as I plug my show for the festival, I wish you a fine spring and roll on the cricket season!
(The Treason Show, 16–28 May, www.brightonfringe.org)