Ruby Grimshaw gets down on the Farm

I went to watch a very unusual theatre company, The Rude Mechanicals, in Seaford last week. It is difficult to describe their performance – a mixture of energetic pantomime, farce, outrageous characters, rude jokes and double entendres – but they are unquestionably an extremely gifted bunch. A couple of years ago they put on a wonderful farce based on Enid Blyton’s Famous Five and this year’s production, Gentle Harry’s Farm, was no less hilarious.

When I say that the cast list included five rams, two sheep, two cows, one bullock, one bull, five magpies (beautifully depicted and quite scary), one dog, one pig and 11 ‘’oomans’ and there are only six performers, you can begin to appreciate how talented this company is. There were no discontinuity problems – in fact the play galloped along at an incredible pace – the personality of every character was clearly drawn and, while the plot got a bit complicated, it did not really matter. There were some delightful songs accompanied by clarinet, banjo, guitar and double bass. Altogether a lovely evening. Except for one thing.

“The personality of every character was clearly drawn”

The show was held outside and although it was a little chilly towards the end of the evening, the rain held off. No, the thing that marred the evening was – you’ve guessed it – the loo facilities. We had to walk across a field and a bowling green to get to one small ladies lavatory where, in the interval, a long queue soon formed. As usual, no-one was waiting at the gents’ next door and after waiting 15 minutes I got very cross and, asking the woman behind me to watch my back, dived into the male cubby hole. Unfortunately, there was only a metal urinal at hip level running along one wall and although I pride myself on being agile and fit, I didn’t see how I could possible balance on the edge to perform. I did get some applause for effort, but we were all late back for the start of the second half.

I really recommend people catching this show. It is being held during August in various places in Sussex including Wivelsfield, Burwash and Michelham Priory. Try and get near the front so that you can hear better and, by seeing the action, follow the plot. You might get dragged in as audience participation but it’s worth it. I would not say the play is suitable for children, unless you have a bloodthirsty little boy. Those magpies are pretty threatening. I had a nasty dream about them.