Ruby Grimshaw has an adventure in Borneo

While I did enjoy my Indonesian holiday enormously, the one thing I was very glad to see again when I arrived back home was a lavatory seat. I know it is very good to crouch over a hole in the ground (apparently Far Eastern women have less incontinence and constipation problems than women in the West) but I did find using a ladle and a bucket of brown river water made me long to see that puppy carrying a loo roll.

Spending a penny on the boat was a feat not to be undertaken too often. There were only wooden slats on the floor of the little shack fixed onto the stern, and it was interesting to watch one’s pee as it joined the waters of the Sekonyer River. (Not so fascinating the day I had a tummy bug though.) Also, there was only a half-door, so as one stood up after doing what one had to do, one could wave to one’s friends at the other end of the boat.

“Two tourists did not listen to this advice and were taken by crocodiles”

The river was the answer to everyone and everything. The locals bathed, did their laundry and fished in it. However, we were warned not to swim behind the boat in it. I only managed to glimpse one baby crocodile during the whole time we were there but we were assured they were definitely around, hiding in the nipa palms and mangrove swamps along the sides of the river, watching.

Two tourists in the last few years did not listen to this advice and were taken by crocodiles, one never to be seen again, while the body of the other man was found later on an underwater ledge, with a single leg injury – stored no doubt by the croc for eating later. None of us showed any wish to swim.

My mobile phone did not enjoy the trip. The screw top on my Deet anti-mosquito stick came loose in my bum bag and leaked onto the phone, taking off the surface on the outside and melting the paint on the inside. It is still working but does not look very happy. Luckily I am due to get an updated model next month. Another woman found that her bottle of Deet had leaked inside her haversack and one side pocket was completely ruined. I was less generous with the Deet on my body after this.

I loved all the vegetarian food in Borneo and was surprised to find I had lost a few pounds when I returned home. Probably all that tramping and sweating through the jungle. What a bonus!