Ruby Grimshaw avoids unncecessary gifts

My decision to try and follow Buddhism has been a godsend (not quite the right word but you know what I mean) for my daughters at Christmastime. As one gets older it is increasingly difficult to buy birthday and Christmas presents for people close to you.

It seems to be so unimaginative to buy a box of chocolates or a bottle of gin, although I suspect most people would be happier with either of those than with a nifty tool which performs incredible things on a potato, or a pair of slipper socks with unidentifiable animals stuck on them.

Never let on if you have started to collect something. My friend G has teapots in all shapes, sizes and colours, cluttering up every cupboard and shelf in her kitchen. It is a bit late to tell her family she doesn’t want any more. She doesn’t even drink tea.

Several years ago I began to collect little ornamental elephants. I soon learn to point out that they represented a personal memento for me from each new country I visited. Presents therefore would not count.

I have a herd of elephants now, stampeding across my mantelpiece and recently I was told by a friend, who’s into alternative views, that they were all racing off in the wrong direction. To obtain good fortune they had to be making a bid for freedom towards the sitting room door. I dutifully turned them all around.

“My friend has teapots in all shapes and sizes. She doesn’t even drink tea!”

I had a birthday two days before Christmas, which I always feel is a sad waste of a celebration. (I think I shall start a support group for all of us who have birthdays between 20 December and 6 January.) However, now that I am trying to be a Buddhist, buying me presents has become a little easier.

Daughter C gets me a desk calendar with a tear-off Daily Thought from the Dalai Lama. (I feel ashamed if I get behind with My Thoughts and make doubly sure I am up to date before one of her visits.) And one can never have too many little round cushions for meditation or lovely orange blankets to wrap oneself up in. CDs of chanting and mantras are also very acceptable.

Daughter C pointed out that as a Buddhist I should not be celebrating Christmas anyway, and therefore should not have expected any presents. Yet, as Buddhism equals love and generosity it is perfectly acceptable for me to give presents and I should be encouraged to do so. That, as she would say, could be a bit of a bummer.