Lynn Ruth Miller on the virtues of rosy cheeks

The lost art of blushing

Blushing has gone out of style, and I think that’s a terrible loss. There is no better way of reading between the lines than to check the degree of rosiness on another’s face. My mother could tell in an instant if I had eaten that chocolate bar, stolen the car keys or missed a period. All she had to do was say “What are you doing?” and look at me when I answered, “Worrying about the state of the world”, or “Trying to figure out what to get you for your birthday..?”

I would always get a retort, like; “No dessert tonight!” or “I’m calling your probation officer”. My mother was one smart cookie. She always knew better.

Blushing was one of the best communicators we had in the old days. For example, if you looked in your wallet and several bills were missing, you could look your partner in the eye and say, “Funny, I can’t seem to find the cash for that holistic medical procedure we discussed.” One look told you that he spent it all on fish and chips. (It is often a ‘he’ … women, I feel, use less obvious tactics.)

“Today, nothing embarrasses anyone and everyone has the internet for retaliation”

When I taught primary school, blushing was the key to figuring out which kid stole my purse and which one was smoking something in the halls. I do not know how teachers cope today, when nothing embarrasses anyone and everyone has the internet for retaliation. Nowadays, our children don’t colour up when they’re naughty. They either post their remarks on facebook with a filthy picture, or tweet their fury with a lot of hash tags.

People are no longer shocked. We used to blush if our skirts blew over our heads in a strong wind. Now, we remember to wear lacey underwear in case someone sitting on the floor looks up. That’s why wax jobs have become primary grooming tools! And cleavage has become an advertising tool for the ladies, to say nothing of very tight underwear for the male population: women no long have to wonder what seven inches looks like.
All they have to do is look.

I am all for accepting who we are and what we do, but I think it is sad that we have lost our sense of shame. It’s actually very sweet to kiss someone unexpectedly, and have him blush with surprise. It has become a lost technique to take someone’s hand, look into their eyes and say, “I know what you’re thinking”. If that person turned red, you knew they had the same thing on their mind that you did.

That kind of subtlety has gone out of style. Now, you take a selfie of your private parts, post it on Tinder and hope for the best.

“Blushing is the color of virtue.”
– Diogenes