Andrew Bullock: MIC-NYC 2
Andrew Bullock follows the MIC socialites to the Big Apple
Rosie is on her first date since … well, ever! She is being set up by Alik, who is there to romance Wheeze. Enter Jules. At first I think he is German but actually he’s just quite nasal. Rosie expresses her concerns that she doesn’t want to come across as Wheeze’s desperate friend. Well you are, Rosie – deal with it! Jules then starts reciting some nonsense about being “honest, open and earnest”. Oh shut it, Jules. He then announces that he’s having the greatest time despite only having been there three minutes and talking only about himself.
At church, Victoria is wearing a veil. She’s there with Mark Francis to re-connect with God and pray that the poor are all wiped out in a mass landslide somewhere. The vicar then emerges from the vestry holding a crucifix and sprinkling holy water, and they both burst into flames.
Blood starts pouring from the taps and birds begin dropping from the skies
A dark cloud suddenly descends over Manhattan. Blood starts pouring from the taps and birds begin dropping from the skies. Alex has arrived in NYC. First thing he does is mess with Binky’s head by inviting her to join him in Central Park at 9pm. Will she/won’t she? (She will.)
Jules is reading on a park bench. Lucy happens to be walking by. She sits next to Jules, on the phone. He looks at her like a pervert on a ferris wheel. He asks her if hers is a “London accent”. Urgh. No, Jules, it’s an English accent, it’s not like Lucy talks like a 19th Century British orphan: “Can I ‘av some more, guvna?” He comments that Lucy is “impeccably dressed” and invites her to a fashion exhibit. Jules, I think you might like boys.
Binky decides to meet Alex. He’s at a fountain, with sunglasses attached to his shirt even though it’s night time. I want to know how Binky knew where to meet him seeing as he didn’t tell her before, and Central Park is 3.41 km² in size. They have a domestic when Jamie turns up, angry. What has Alex done??? OMG, he hooked up with Jamie’s ex, Tara! I’m a bit disappointed actually. The way Jamie was reacting it was like Alex had literally blown up Jamie’s house with all his family inside it.
Alik tries to do an English accent but sounds like Barbara Windsor in “Carry On Matron”, which I’m not sure is the effect he was going for.
Alex comes to see the boys to explain why his overt addiction to sex has now seeped over from betraying just women to also devastating fellow men. The Orgy is mentioned. I love how everyone talks about The Orgy now as if it’s a meeting at the local town hall about the state of the eroding village clock tower. Jamie asks that Alex leaves the United States, immediately.
Alex bumps into Binky at the airport, who is seeing off Cheska, whilst he is fiddling on the concourse with his passport. Binky gives him a look that says, “stop fiddling with your passport and get out of my sight”. And with that, she descends into her Rolls Royce and is taken back to the city to meet Samantha, Miranda and Mr. Big.
Next week’s predictions: Alex won’t get on the plane and will instead stay in New York and betray someone else’s eternal trust …
Andrew’s blog can be read at drewjbullock.wordpress.com
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