Bare Cheek: The Greatest Brighton Pub

Last week we asked you to vote for Brighton’s most Brightonian shop to have ceased trading in Brighton. And we were quite literally un-inundated by the response. Nonetheless you voted, by a wide margin, for the 50p shop on West Street.

This week we are presenting a poser that is bound to provoke debate in every snug and tap room in the town (although there aren’t actually any snugs or tap rooms left, as they were all knocked into one): which is Brighton’s greatest ever boozer?

Below is a helpful, though not definitive, list of likely contenders to get things rolling.

The winning pub, if still extant at the time of going to print, will be taken over by a London chain and renamed ‘The Blue Monkey’. So which do YOU think should be nominated? Drop us a line
at Bare Cheek, C/O Latest 7, Unit 1, Level Five North, New England House, New England Street, BN1 4GH.

The contenders…
The Franklin Tavern
Cheers Bar
The Railway Bell
The Admiral Napier
The Race Hill Inn
Bonaparte’s
The Stable
The Battle Of Waterloo
The London Unity
The Cobbler’s Thumb
The bar at the Odeon
The City Of York
Jury’s Out
The Northern Tavern
The Windsor Tavern
The Stanford Arms
The Richmond
The Rose Hill Tavern
The Volunteer
The Prince Arthur
The Smuggler’s Tavern
The Stag
The Black Lion
The Cranbourne Arms
The Lamb and Flag
The Free Butt
Aquarium

HOVE FACTUALLY

Five facts you never knew about fantabulous Hove:

1) Hove Complex is the psychological condition suffered by those who both envy yet feel superior to their closest neighbours.

2) In Tongdean, sterilisation of residents earning less than £32,000 pa is compulsory.

3) In an annual poll conducted by House And Garden magazine, Hove Recreation Ground was voted the nation’s most beautiful park in 2001, 2005, 2006 and 2013. This year it was pipped to the post by that park next to Shabitat on Lewes Road.

4) 1979 cult movie classic ‘The Warriors’ was filmed in Hangleton.

5) Vice-Lord Lieutenant of Hove is an ancient office, dating back to the reign of Edward the Confessor. Past holders of this now purely titular honour include Rodney Bickerstaffe, La Cicciolina, Bertie Bassett, George Benson, Ermintrude the Cow, Bentley Rhythm Ace, Ex-King Zog of Albania, Joe Dolce, Pocoyo, Soames Forsyte, Beryl the Peril, Freddie ‘Parrot Face’ Davies, Sue Ingle, Rat Fink, Dame Maggie Tyzack, Savaranola, Ed ‘Stewpot’ Stewart, Godzuki, and the Scarecrow and Mrs King from ‘The Scarecrow and Mrs King’.

In & Out

In
• The way you wear your hat
• Feeling poorly, sick and jobby
• ‘The Cloister and The Hearth’
• Power Rangers Samurai
• Toni Braxton

Out
• The way you sing off-key
• Mustard powder
• Power Rangers Super Megaforce
• Hereward The Wake
• Gussets

What We Used To Say

An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the once common, simple words or phrases that have been replaced by unwieldy verbosity.

WHAT WE SAY NOW: Once every two weeks

This is a real mouthful, but still an improvement on the ghastly “bi-weekly” I’ve heard lately from those I can only assume are disguised enemy robots bent on the destruction of the English language.

WHAT WE USED TO SAY: Fortnightly