Ruby Grimshaw gets a taste of Italy

At the end of last summer I thought about taking on some evening classes. I realised a good idea on a warm August day could prove to be painful in December when one had to turn out on a cold wet night.

However, I decided that I would do a simple Italian conversation class, something which would not entail any preparation, no dreaded examination and therefore no stress – just 90 minutes of light banter about how to get to the stazione, or order a caffè and perhaps some general chat about the weather.

We would probably go off for tea halfway through and it would all be very jolly, particularly on the first evening when we would spend the time getting to know each other, filling in all the forms…

How wrong could I be?! There was no break, we had to introduce ourselves to the class in Italian, and then it was straight into present tense and grammar. Everyone seemed to have passed their A-level Italian, had a villa in Tuscany or been studying the language for years.

The Italian I thought I did know completely abandoned me and I felt shamefully inadequate. Our teacher was young, bubbly and enthusiastic, and leapt about the classroom firing Italian at us with the rapidity of a machine gun. She reminded me of Tigger and I was envious of her energy.

“Our teacher fired Italian at us with the rapidity of a machine gun”

We finished by reading a newspaper report on the drug problem in Italy and then had a discussion on what we had understood. Very little in my case, but since the class was quite large I managed to avoid catching Tigger’s eye. Before we left we were given a big chunk of homework, and though it was described as optional I could tell that this class contained no slackers. My head actually hurt at the end of that first lesson.

As the weeks have gone by we have studied the perfect, imperfect and pluperfect tenses and as though this weren’t impressive enough someone has asked if we can do the subjunctive. I am not even clear what this is in English. We have been talking about the Unification of Italy in 1861, futurismo in cinematic history, the fascist Mussolini years and the life of Garibaldi.

I don’t think my original idea of ‘what I did at the weekend’ would have cut it as a subject for conversation. Our homework is to prepare a presentation on Turin, where Italy’s 150 years of Unification is being celebrated in March. This could cover the arts, fashion, education or history. I am doing food. I know my level.