Ruby Grimshaw on subliminal messages & status

While having a drink at M’s flat last week our mutual friend Sue exclaimed in admiration at the tiny gold charms attached like bracelets to the stem of each wine glass. They were in the shape of terrapins, beetles, frogs etc. M had been given them as a gift by her son, and previously I had also admired them. Apart from being quite useful in identifying one’s glass – after the first two refills and a visit to the loo I invariably lose my drink – they definitely give a subliminal message to visitors that this particular hostess is so popular and gives so many parties that such a device is a necessity.

I wondered if there were other little tricks one could use in a similar subtle way without sounding one’s social trumpet too loudly. I always envy the coffee table at my friend G’s house (she of the multitudinous teapots for anyone who follows my column.) Large glossy books on Egypt and Italy –including the superb one on Venice by that delicious Francesco Da Mosto – are arranged at just the correct angle, while a volume of poems is discreetly placed a suitable distance away. I tried this with my coffee table and it only took a day for it to be covered with opened books while a messy pile of magazines and brochures overflowed onto the floor.

“If I had a picture of me with Princess Di then I would definitely have it hung on the wall”

Some houses have cabinets stuffed with cups and medals awarded for a single sport – the golf club or football adorning these shining pots usually gives you the clue. I feel this shows more an unhealthy obsession to do well than a natural talent. A single cup on the mantelpiece, for say croquet or tiddly winks, indicates that this person can excel at anything if they put their mind to it.

I suppose you can’t count photographs taken with famous people. If I had a picture taken of me with say Princess Di or even Justin Timberlake (which is highly unlikely since one is dead and the other I would not recognise if he got on the bus) I would definitely have it enlarged and hung on the wall. But the only ‘celebrity’ I have met – and only because he had a bad back while appearing at the Brighton centre and no other physio was answering their phone – was Gary Glitter, and I guess the less said about that the better.