Ruby Grimshaw falls foul of the Olympic trials

Just when I think I am not completely technology illiterate, my computer decides to give me a reminder that I’m only kidding myself. I was congratulating myself the other day on how clever I was to log on to my bank account and not have to trail into town to shift money around, when the site said it had no recognition at all of my pass codes. It is enough for me to reflect on what a drag it used to be to have to find a local shop with a photocopier every time I wanted to copy an invoice, for my printer to go into meltdown, accompanied by horrible ripping noises.

Actually I am amazed it ever recovered from its accident during the Big Bedroom Redecoration. I had to keep moving my computer in and out of the room and once I forgot that the printer was attached and resting on the spare bed. It crashed to the ground and I nearly didn’t bother to switch it on again. Unbelievably, when I gave it my customary treatment for dealing with anything electrical which is misbehaving – switching it off, taking every possible plug out, leaving it for a day and then giving it a little kick – it worked perfectly.

I managed to register myself for Olympic tickets last year and I made sure all my friends were aware of this. “Oh,” I would say airily. “It was quite easy. I’ll book tickets for you, if you like.”

“I was then told very severely in big red letters that my account was locked”

Not surprisingly, my computer was not going to let me get away with such arrogance. When I tried to log on to the Olympic site after 13 March I was told that I was using the wrong pin number. I was sure I had the correct one. I tried once more and again was informed I was incorrect. I tried the only other one it could be and was then told very severely in big red letters that my account was locked. The only way to get it unlocked was to apply for a new pin number. This I did and while waiting to receive it by email poured myself a stiff gin and tonic.

Using my new number I applied again, only to be told my account was locked and I needed a new number. Gritting my teeth I applied again only to be told I had already been given one in the last 24 hours and could not have another one. At this point I screamed and went to bed. Who wants to go to the Olympics anyway…