Matt Whistler has a need for speed – of mooching

The last 20 years has seen many innovations in the art of communicating, back in the ’80s no-one had even heard of email, BBM or Twitter and people actually used fax machines.

Against this backdrop, Johanna Delver in Hanover set this week’s challenge for Matt: to create a new style of communication.

After a few initial attempts that included shouting through street cones and stamping with one foot while throwing bags of feathers coated in glitter, Matt decided to stick to a more simplistic approach.

The new style of communication he settled on was called ‘speed mooching’. The basic premise of speed mooching involves entering a bar, nightclub or other shared area like a café and getting friendly with a random group of folks sat at a table, within two minutes.

Having met with some hostility in his attempts to use speed mooching on a table of tattooed bikers in the Franklin Tavern and a group of freemasons in Hove, Matt tried his luck at Hotel Pelirocco.
“I have to say I’m exceedingly exaltant at the reactions I got to speed mooching at the Pelirocco. Well, except for one lady who said she’d only take part if I used an egg timer.

“I found the presence of a rectangular stone with a mobile phone painted on one side really helped as I would plonk it down on the table to create a bit of banter,” he said.

Matt efforts to immortalise the first speed mooch by taking a photo on the ‘stone phone’ weren’t quite as successful, and usually met with a one or two fingered reaction.

But speed mooching is about creating conversation and any negativity was met with “joyous, radiation-less verbal exchanges” about the merits of a phone with no dial tone or text messaging but significant shock absorbency.

So the moral of the story is, if you decide to take up speed mooching always carry a daft prop with you to break the ice, even if, like Matt, you found it washed up the beach next to a tube of white goulash.

“It will guarantee you get past at least the third table without the need for an awkward turtle” he said.

To try some online speed mooching with Matt or suggest his next challenge go to www.facebook.com/latest7 or www.facebook.com/mattwhistlerbrighton
Words: Richard Hook