Funny business

Farewell sweet The Apprentice, hello brand new series of Dragons’ Den with a spanking new Dragon to boot. Business is big business on telly, as people try and survive on their wits and ingenuity, as well as a product they absolutely believe in. With The Apprentice, in the main, that product was themselves. In this it can be anything from a device to stop toilet splashback to being a human cannonball. Oh, the cleverness of it all. Especially among the people who haven’t already puffed themselves up with their own importance. They’re the ones to really keep an eye on. Well done, Tom in winning The Apprentice. Let’s see who else can win their own game in Dragons’ Den with off-the-wall thinking and good manners.

First off, a salute to the new Dragon, Hilary Devey. An entrepreneur and brassy as Liz McDonald behind the bar of the Rover’s Return, she fair leaves Duncan Ballantyne in the shade with her own straight-talking. Such bliss to hear phrases like; “Where there’s muck there’s luck,” uttered with such sincerity while the others squirmed at the aforementioned muck. That’s not to say she hasn’t got an edge. Brilliant television comes from such expressions leading to a conclusion. “You have made my foot itch, mate. I’m not amused, I’m angry! I’m out.” Make my foot itch! What a lead up to a rejection! And while sporting shoulder pads that wouldn’t have been out of place on Joan Collins in her Dynasty days. Class.

Hilary claiming her Dragon stripes aside, it’s business as usual with disparate and random ideas coming up those spiral stairs to pitch for that cash and expertise injection the Dragons are so good at. Opening with a presentation that could hardly have gone worse from Georgette Hewitt, mother of three from Kent, the room quickly showed how fast it can turn on its heel, keeping the ever-present tension in place.

We know how this goes; Duncan is bullish, clever but likely to be moody; Theo is softer but not one to suffer fools gladly; Peter is tall… and very astute and measured; Deborah has a level stare and an even tone, and plenty of business acumen to offer. They’re a dream team, and now they’ve got the delightful Hilary too. Making short shrift of those who think they can just use blarney to get to the money (The Apprentice’s Jim, take note), Dragons’ Den is packed full of excitement for those exhausted by the attention span that was demanded of them by The Apprentice. Easy to dip into, and packed full of business tips you might learn despite yourself, it’s a welcome return for this new improved supporter of innovative business.