The watchmen

Big Brother was an Orwellian construct. Encouraging paranoia, it was the powers that watched your every move in George Orwell’s novel 1984, overseeing all, the nanny state taken to an extreme when ‘caring’ became ‘taking care of’.

So when, all those moons ago, a still reasonably fresh faced Channel 4 shoved a group of disparate people in a house together with some chickens and body paint and filmed their every move, it was a phenomenon that took off beyond everyone’s expectations. Big Brother was watching them and we were watching Big Brother. Just like in the novel, Big Brother was judge and jury of all wrongdoings. Just ask Nasty Nick. But best of all Big Brother was watching ordinary people being their own remarkable selves.

Fast forward a decade and by last year we had had an evil Big Brother, a boring Big Brother, a mischievous Big Brother. To be frank, our Big Brother had metamorphosed into an attention-seeking little brother, petulantly tapping us on the shoulder and repeatedly asking; “Is this annoying?” Yes, it was.

“Our Big Brother had metamorphosed into an attention-seeking little brother…”

And so when Channel 4’s contract ran out they let it go. It was a different kind of sociological experiment altogether. No longer would you find the ex-nun and the handyman who was in there to win money for a small child’s operation bonding. Instead it was hissy fits about cigarettes and constructed house romances. Big Brother lost faith in its inhabitants, so that we lost the beauty of a friendship between a man and his poultry, and instead got lumbered with elaborate obstacle course tasks and night-time hot tub shenanigans.

Quite what Five hopes to do with the monster programme is anyone’s guess. The celebrity version started last week to great fanfare, but the adverts preceding it of a massive party in the park hosted by Brian Dowling don’t appear to be changing tack from where C4 left off. Bright colours, fairy princess girls, beautiful self-important boys and lots of noise and stimulants. Because they couldn’t possibly be trusted to amuse themselves in a TV-friendly manner.
Perhaps I am being harsh, but I don’t think so. It was a good idea that died of exposure.

The other thing that occurred to me is that Big Brother is no longer scary as a concept. It is, however, all the more prevalent as a reality. CCTV is on every street corner, identity theft is rife and phones have been hacked. Could it be that the fear has lost its name to the game show, leaving it to become all the more quietly insidious? Big Brother is still watching you, even if you’re not watching Big Brother.

Celebrity Big Brother, Five, every night