Ruby Grimshaw prepares for the winter chill

One would assume that getting things serviced is the sensible thing to do. However, whether it’s the car or the boiler, for me it usually means that something which was seemingly working quite adequately beforehand suddenly appears to require skillful (expensive) jiggling or extra attachments (even more expensive) in order to keep it alive.

I should have been suspicious of the flyer telling me of the discount available if I took up the offer of a service on my real flame fire. Since it was a gas appliance it was obvious I was on a loser since regulations for the use of gas seem to be up-graded and added to every year. So when the gas engineer made that ominous sucking in noise accompanied by sad shakings of the head I knew what was coming. I had to admit though that in this case ‘working quite adequately beforehand’ did not describe my fire.
“How long have you had this?” he asked, not attempting to disguise his contempt.

I made my voice as vague as possible, “Oh- a few years now, I suppose.” I have been in the house just over 25 years and had the fire fitted shortly after moving in. I did not add that I had not used the fire for several winters because it had begun to make a frightening whoosh on being lit.

“I should have been suspicious of the flyer”

“It says 1983 here.” The engineer sounded pleased with his discovery and I pretended not to hear. So, hundreds of pounds later I have a new fire, a newly swept chimney and sweet little cowls on the chimney tops to stop the seagulls using my chimneys as rubbish chutes. You would think I was all set for winter. Not at all. The carpet has yet to be laid in the new loft and on the stairs, there is a blockage somewhere in the central heating system so the plumber is coming to give the pipes a thorough blast, Bensleys are booked to give me a quote for a damp course in part of the living room and the builder has got to fix a cracked wall inside the kitchen. At this rate I will be able to enjoy knowing the central heating works perfectly but not be able to afford to switch it on.

If I were renting of course I would just ring up the landlord to sort it all out and I could spend my money on wine and going to Glyndebourne. That thought should cheer up those unhappy people who cannot get onto the property ladder.