Oh Brother!

This Friday sees the close to the social experiment that was Big Brother on Five. Hosted by a former Big Brother winner who went on to become a familiar face on Saturday morning television, rubbing shoulders with the great and the good that would have been on Top Of The Pops if it was still going, Brian Dowling has become the ideal for every Big Brother wannabe. It’s either him or Craig Phillips, the first ever winner who has gone on to be a bit of a daytime telly staple as builder and fixer upper extraordinaire. No one goes along to bare their soul, get their bits out and become tabloid fodder for a day and a half just to be the next Cameron Stout. You know,the chap who wore the wristband asking WWJD? Never mind.

The only ex housemates that have emerged with any semblance of longevity or credibility were those who had been on a pretty even keel as themselves all the way through, such as Pete Bennett and Kate Lawler. I say ‘themselves’, and as much as everyone claims to be sincere throughout the process, it could just be that those who are deemed phoney are simply those whose true selves are after a bit of fame and fortune. Just because it’s not all hearts and poetry that doesn’t make it any less true or real, just slightly less appetising to the ‘Romantic’ sensibilities of the baying audience.

“Reality television has diversified, regionalised and specialised”

But what will this year’s winner collect? Apart from a whopping cache of dosh and an interview in Heat the moment their heels hit the tarmac, how many people standing around your water cooler could name a single housemate, let alone pick a favourite to collect the winnings? Are these new people just not who we want to be friends with now? Has the sweetness of big-boned Alison breaking the garden picnic table been sullied with the knowledge of how much that table cost and of what better use that money could have been put? Perhaps (whisper it) Big Brother, the celebrator of the talentless but full of self-discovery, has lost its sheen in a period when university is no longer freely available and work not all that ready either. Could larking about on telly be less of an enviable holiday and more of a reminder that unemployed numbers nationally are currently at record highs? It’s just an idea.

Alternatively, it could just be that people at home are bored with the same formula. There are only so many ways you can lock a group of people up together and control their lives. Reality television has diversified, regionalised and specialised. People are stepping up without even the inticement of a debt-ridding lump sum to get them in front of the cameras. Can they not see that Brian Dowling, prior to this recent stint was working the late night slots on ITV Play hosting The Mint? But then, now he has this plum job, and we all know where Davina McCall and the delightful Dermot O’Leary have gone post Big Brother. Could Brian be presenting X Factor in two years time? You never can tell.

Big Brother Finale, Five, Friday 11 November, 9pm