Matt Whistler’s body double is exposed

This week’s exclusive is with Matt Whistler’s undercover double, Brian X. “My job is to cover assignments that involve tight security and possible rugby scrums. I was given the job because I look identical to Matt Whistler but the fact that I have false teeth means that when he gets agitated because
I am getting celebrity treatment, I can just take my teeth out and it reminds him that I am not him. 
“The problem came for me when Matt Whistler sent me to London to dive into TV stations with his poxy tea-tray and expose myself while wearing a skin-coloured thong. I don’t like the cold and the very thought of sledging down a hill naked on a tea-tray fills me with fear and eepie-jeepie-creepies.
“Matt Whistler insists on the exposure and my knees are too knobbly and I have a birth mark the shape of Shrek, which I am too ashamed to expose. He should take his own risks – I am not game for this nonsense. I QUIT!”
Matt Whistler’s single,
‘Merry Christmas Everyone’, is now available on iTunes.
He has a big plan for 2012 but needs your support!