What’s not on

RATIONAL SUNDAY SCHOOL
A bunch of slightly smug atheists bang on about not believing in God, as if doing so is, in 2012, actually something brave. Then a couple of scientists come on and talk about black holes almost as if this proves the point.
4th March, Dell’arte Theatre, 8PM, £7/£6

MATT RUSSELL’S SOAPBOX OF LOVE
A 20 year-old comedian, who has gone straight from university into stand up, and has a silly haircut to boot, presumes to educate us all in matters of the heart, and politics as well. Well, thanks a lot for that, Mr. never-had-a-shave-skinny-jeans. Thanks a lot. No, cheers.
5th March, Brighton Lavilion Theatre, 8PM, £12/£10

“I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD”
Concert featuring Tony Bennett, Dave Brubeck, Jerry Lee Lewis, and other music stars who one might reasonably expect to have passed on to their reward by now.
7th March, Brighton Doom, 7.30 PM, £18/£15

STEVE BLACKBERRY IN CONVERSATION WITH ARTHUR TEDIOUS
Local polymath Blackberry talks to the writer, artist, filmmaker, occultist, and bore. With excepts from Tedious’s new 11-hour film Horux. Warning: contains several very long anecdotes and footage of the late Ken Campbell droning on .
10th March, Upstairs at the Four and Eleven, 9PM, £6/£5

DROWNED PHOTOGRAPHS OF FORGOTTEN MEMORIES
Meet Soo – a woman who obsessively catalogues her life. A chance meeting on the underground and an encounter with a displaced shaman lead to a journey into the heart of her own mind and the mind of her own heart. This work combines dance, physical theatre, and film in a way that may make you want to commit suicide right there in your seat.
12th March, Chaffinch Theatre, 8PM, £9/£8

MR QUIMSYWHELP & MR BUTTERSNATCH
Some old actor cashes in on the Dickens bicentennial by presenting this monologue, cribbed together in slightly ungainly fashion from a section cut from the first edition of Nicholas Nickleby.
13th March, Theatre Loyal, 8PM. £15/£13

ACCIDENTS WILL HAPPEN
A new jukebox musical based on the songs of Elvis Costello from the people behind We Will Rock You and Tonight’s The Night. Can private detective Oliver Sarmy pump up his car tire in time to save his wife Alison from the clutches of Jacksons, Monk and Rowe or will the inner-ear problem that prevents him from standing upright lead to an appointment with the mysterious Veronica, with her green shirt and her blue chair?
14th March, Brighton Doom, 7.30PM, £22/£18