Matt Whistler’s ode to a traffic cone

Traffic cones, oh traffic cones, where art thou traffic cones? On top of Winston Churchill’s head or perhaps Queen Victoria. Maybe on a rusty fridge in a student pad or in London auditioning to be an international VLC icon.
They fly in the air when you put an air bomb repeater underneath, they glow when standing on a floor light. They also make great ice-cream cone holders for the greedy and perfect watering cans for the gardening loon.
Sometimes subject to bad driving, the traffic cone can be seen hurtling down the motorway or bent and crushed.
Traffic cones make mouth speakers but walking down a street with a street cone makes you look instantly like a tea leaf. Let’s face it, have you, the reader, ever been into a shop to purchase a street cone?
Well, for the first time in history the all talking, all singing street cone has been born. Noel Coward would definitely relate.
Watch the next episode of Moaning Cone on Latest TV…