Matt Whistler on the joys of two wheels

After performing a Saturday night comedy gig that fought off three stag parties and some ferocious heckling, a Sunday cocktail of dibbling and dabbling was required.

The day consisted of a touch of painting on the beach using glow stick tubes to create circles followed by a wobbly clown bike that turns right when the handle bars go left. Brighton Sunday nonsensical behaviour; don’t you just love it?

I do miss the old push scooter days though, I have tried and tested every type of push scooter over the years inspired by Mr Natural, who was a Robert Crumb cartoon creation back in the ‘60s, but now it’s bicycles all the way. And now it’s cycle-tastic as news is out that there is going to be cycle routes running through the Brighton Lanes and the twittens, so scrunch your shoulders, get your cycle pump jousting sticks out and lock on with your squeezy horn.

I love the hilarity of cycle lanes, the way the thick white, obligatory token gesture, painted line just suddenly comes to a halt and a feeling of cycle rebellion steps in.

The Dutch are clued up they have cycle lanes and Vespa lanes completely off the road in a freewheeling lane of luxury. I’m not taking sides, cars are great fun, especially when you wheel spin to exit a car park.