Tasha Dhanraj isn’t in the Olympic spirit

It’s 2012 – the summer of sport. It combines two of my least favourite things to create a supernova of disgust. It’s been years since we first acquired the Olympics and at the time I remember thinking, “Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever cared less about something since Charlie left Busted for Fightstar.” For the last seven years I’ve been wondering when my British pride would overcome me and I’d start caring at least a little bit, but no. I’m still filled with more excitement about finding a loose cashew nut at the bottom of my bag than I am at the prospect of watching the men’s 100m final.

Then there’s the constant barrage of news stories about how busy the train services are going to be and how you should avoid leaving the house at all cost for the entire duration of the Olympics just in case you accidentally get whipped into a never ending queue to get onto some public transport and you end up spending the rest of your treasured annual holiday squashed uncomfortably close to a sports-loving tourist.

You might think you’ll be safe in Brighton. You’ll hide behind your barricade of houmous and vegan sausages and no Olympics crowds will reach you, but you’re wrong. I know someone who knows someone who knows someone who has rented out their two bedroom house in Woodingdean to Olympic-going tourists. Nowhere is safe from the reach of those five colourful circles and being constantly told about how proud you should be to be British.

“Nowhere is safe from the reach of those five colourful circles”

Then of course there’s the fact that it’s summer. So mix in how busy the streets are going to be and how stuffed the train carriages are going to be with how hot and sweaty it’s going to be. And if it isn’t hot and sweaty then it’s going to be grey and miserable and all the money you spent on that new dress will be wasted. Sorry if this is all a bit cynical.

Maybe my problem isn’t the Olympics. Maybe it’s the seven years build up in which every few months we’ve been told exactly how to feel about London 2012 and about how it will be the single most unforgettable moment in our lives. Maybe if they’d just said, “Yeah, the Olympics is coming! You might enjoy it, but if sport isn’t your thing then I hear there’s going to be some really good movies on Film4 over the summer” then I might not be so pessimistic and grouchy about the whole thing.